“While I would have liked to have you around, I think it was better that you didn’t. I learned how to be a dad because there wasn’t anyone else. If you’d been with me, I would have depended on you too much. The situation might have been easier, but I don’t think it would have been better for me and Harrison.”

“You’re being kind. You’ve always been a good man. You protect those you love. I know what happened with Lori was hard, but I think you’re learning the wrong lesson.”

“I picked her and she abused my son.”

“I agree, but then you decided you would never trust again. That wasn’t what you were supposed to take away from what happened. Be careful, but don’t shut yourself off. It’s not good for you, and it’s not teaching Harrison what a healthy relationship looks like. How is he supposed to know how to be a husband if he’s never seen one close-up? How is he supposed to choose the right woman when you’re showing him that after one mistake, you give up?”

For a woman well into her seventies, she still knew how to throw a punch.

“That’s not what I’m doing,” he said automatically, even as he wondered if it was. “It’s not what I meant to do.”

“You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who will love you and Harrison and always have your back. I wish you’d take one more chance to find that.”

“You’re talking about Reggie.”

Judy shrugged. “Am I? It’s interesting she’s who you thought of.”

“She’s the only person I’ve been seeing.”

“You loved her once.”

According to Reggie, he still loved her. A concept he couldn’t get his mind around.

“If you don’t do something, you’ll lose her again. When the holidays are over, she’ll go back to Seattle, and then what? What if she meets someone there? This is your chance, Toby. I don’t like to see you throw it away.”

With that, she rose. He stood as well, then hugged her.

“You’re a powerful woman.”

She patted his arm. “I have life experience. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t have regrets. They’re a painful thing, and they never go away.”

He walked her to the top of the stairs, then waited to make sure she got down all right. She’d given him a lot to think about. Yes, Reggie was special, but how did he feel about her? What did he want, and how did he let go of his past mistakes enough to keep them from influencing his present?

Questions that had no answers, he thought, walking into the media room. Harrison was finishing up his video game. He turned off the player and grinned.