I blew it I had the perfect chance to have a rational conversation with Thom. We had a chance to settle this once and for all without the angst and emotion. It didn’t happen. Instead I let the opportunity slip through my fingers. Naturally I have a wealth of excuses, the first one being that I didn’t sleep more than a couple of hours all night. This situation between Thom and me was on my mind and I couldn’t seem to let it go. My feelings swung from happiness to dread and from joy to fear, and then the whole cycle repeated itself. I kept thinking about what I wanted to say when we saw each other again. Then I started worrying what would happen if he kissed me.

How is it that I can develop complicated software programs used all over the world, but when it comes to Thom Sutton I’m hopeless?

Mom’s home from shopping, and when Carley asked if she’d gotten everything she needs for the Christmas baskets, it looked as if Mom was about to burst into tears. She said she had a headache, and went to bed. Apparently I wasn’t the only one suffering from too little sleep. I have a feeling that something happened with Mrs. Sutton again, which is bad news all the way around.

Kristen wasn’t home when I tried to phone, although she hadn’t said she was going out. I’d hoped to discuss this with her, get her perspective. She’s heard just about everything else that’s gone on between Thom and me since I arrived. I could use a sympathetic ear and some sisterly advice.

Everything fell into place so naturally between her and Jonathan, but it sure hasn’t been that way with me. I actually considered talking to Carley, which is a sign of how desperate I’m beginning to feel.

I’m not going to see Thom again. We left the mall and nothing more was said. It’s over, even though I don’t want it to be. It was within my power to change things, and I didn’t have the courage to do it. I could’ve run after him and begged him not to let our relationship end this way, not after we’d come so far. But I didn’t, and I’m afraid this is something I’m going to regret for a long time to come.

Chapter Six

“You don’t need to worry about the dishes,” Sarah McDowell protested.