And then I sit here and I think about me,

a version of me, say, two years from now.

And she believes what you believe,

and she believes what I don’t believe, not right now.

I think about that future “me,”

and I think about that future “me” thinking about the

“me” I am right now.

That version of me thinks I’m stupid for thinking what
    I think now,

but also,

I’m here thinking that she’s so wrong,

and I don’t want to think something so different from

what I think now …

… because there’s a slipping that happens.

PASTOR

and she says,

WIFE

I feel so alone right now,

because where you are is so different from where I am.

PASTOR

(To WIFE.)

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

You’re right.

I should have told you—

I think I …

WIFE

The way I see it, I have one of two options.

My sister said I could stay with her,

indefinitely. I figured I could go there,

our daughter would come with me, we’ll go for a visit,

and then figure out from there where to go,

what to do.

Or,

I stay

PASTOR

well I think that’s the option I’d prefer

WIFE

and I continue the Women’s Bible Study

and preach what you’re not preaching.

Use my ministry as a, I dunno, a platform,

a pulpit, not sure what to call it—

for correcting what you’re saying

PASTOR

correcting?

WIFE

balancing things out, I guess.

PASTOR

seems like that would tear apart the church even worse than it already is.

WIFE

…

PASTOR

What do I do—? what do you want me to do—?

WIFE

what I want you to do

I don’t want you to do because I want you to do it.

I want you to do something

because you want to do it,

because you believe it,

and I think that is what you’re doing now,

and that’s the problem.

PASTOR

I’m doing what I think God has told me to do.

WIFE

Me too.

PASTOR

Do you still like me?

WIFE

… I do still like you.

PASTOR

Do you still … find me attractive?

WIFE

I do.

… Do you still find me—?

PASTOR

Of course

WIFE

you

PASTOR

yes

WIFE

well that’s nice

PASTOR

you’re very attractive

WIFE

good to know.

But

I wish I didn’t.

I wish I didn’t like you,

I wish I didn’t find you so attractive,

I wish I didn’t want you here in bed beside me,

I wish I didn’t think that you’re so smart

and kind

and good,

and I wish I didn’t find you so magnificent.

Because if I didn’t feel all those ways

it would be so easy to—

I’m worried that we won’t be together forever,

and I’m worried that it’ll be my fault,