… what if I were to tell you

that when the offering plates went around,

the little piece of paper I put into the plate

said Joshua

and not Paul

PASTOR

…

WIFE

…

PASTOR

…

WIFE

…

PASTOR

is this a hypothetical question?

WIFE

no.

PASTOR

oh.

WIFE

…

PASTOR

…

WIFE

Should I be amputated as well?

PASTOR

uh, no.

WIFE

are you sure about that

PASTOR

yes

WIFE

Because I believe in Hell.

I believe in the Devil.

I believe that believing in Jesus,

believing that He’s the Son of God,

and believing that He died for your sins

is the only,

the only thing that can secure you a place in Heaven.

PASTOR

Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you disagreed with my sermon?

WIFE

Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you were going to deliver that sermon?

Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to forcibly

change

what our church

believes?

PASTOR

…

WIFE

In your sermon you talked like you had been struggling with this message,

tormented,

but you never told me any of that.

PASTOR

I don’t normally check my sermons with you

WIFE

And I think it’s kind of too bad that you don’t.

I think what you did

was actually

incredibly selfish

PASTOR

selfish?

WIFE

yeah

PASTOR

how???

WIFE

You haven’t thought about

how what you’re doing affects other people.

PASTOR

Everything I’m doing is about other people.

WIFE

What about me? What about our daughter?

PASTOR

what about her

WIFE

you know that most of her classmates go to our church

PASTOR

okay

WIFE

and some of the parents of some of those classmates

talk about you in front of their kids.

And the kids come to school,

tell her that her daddy is going to Hell.

Did you know that?

PASTOR

no

WIFE

and she doesn’t know what to do,

she wants to stand up for you,

but doesn’t know how.

PASTOR

How would I have known about that?

WIFE

if you just opened up your eyes and paid attention
to the people around you

PASTOR

you hide things from me. All the time you—

WIFE

you never consulted with me,

never told me that you were struggling with something.

That tells me, I’m not on the same level as you.

You don’t see me as someone you would
talk to about the things you’re thinking,

that I’m just the preacher’s wife,

that I just sit in the background,

just nod my head,

and support you in every decision you make.

I’m not that kind of
  preacher’s wife

PASTOR

I know you’re not.

WIFE

I think you figured that if I experienced your amazing sermon

with the rest of the church, I’d be all swept up with all the rest of them,

and just buy into it on account of your own magnificence.

PASTOR

I don’t think I’m magnificent!

WIFE

But Paul, it didn’t work on me,

and for those for whom it did work,