And I was raped. Wasn’t I? Or maybe nothing did happen. I mean, obviously we had sex, but … maybe it was like he said? Maybe he didn’t force me?

Did I want it? Did I at least make him think I want it?

Is that even the same thing?

I realize in an instant that I definitely can’t tell Will. He would never believe me. Right now, I’m not even sure what I believe.

‘Didn’t we, Louisa?’ Adam is asking as I tune back into the conversation. ‘We had a great lunch at La Taverne? Shame that Will missed it by being such a knob and breaking his ski and Nell by being too slow to keep up with me.’

Nell sniffs. ‘I was NOT too slow to keep up with you. I simply wanted to stay on that side of the valley instead of coming back over here – there’s more sun there in the afternoon and I like the pistes better on that side.’

I look at Adam, but only for a second because it hurts too much. I can see he’s mocking me. Or at least that’s how it feels. Does he think we’re sharing a secret about what went on between us while Will was out? Or is he simply looking at me with no hidden meaning? I feel like I don’t know anything any more.

‘Yes. It was a nice lunch. Thank you,’ I say mechanically. I only then remember that he settled the bill – it must have been expensive with that posh wine and all those drinks. Was that it? Did he think I owed him? That I wouldn’t have accepted all those drinks if I hadn’t wanted him?

If we’d have split the bill, would that have avoided all this? Would that have sent the correct message – I am your brother’s girlfriend. You and I are just having lunch together. We owe each other nothing.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

‘So what did you do with the rest of the afternoon?’ Nell asks, spearing a piece of dry chicken.

‘We spent most of it in the restaurant,’ Adam continues, ‘Louisa telling me her life story, and then we came back here. I had a sauna – I thought Louisa was going to join me, but I guess she changed her mind. This chicken is horrible, isn’t it?’ he adds, lifting his fork and squinting at a piece of meat.

How can he be so nonchalant?

‘I had a shower,’ I say, my voice shaking a little, looking up at Adam but he is still concentrating on his chicken, trying to pull it apart with his knife and fork. I’m trying to inject meaning into my voice – Do you not realize that I had a shower because of what you did to me? – but he seems entirely oblivious. Is he? Or is he just a convincing actor?