Chapters (75)
The biggest difference was Mama now had a job, so she couldn’t stay in bed all day because she was too tired or too sad to get up. She also told me that she was taking special pills the doctor had given her so she could be less sad, and more ‘stable’, which I didn’t understand as it wasn’t as if she ever fell over, but they definitely seemed to make her happier. And I was at school every day, so we weren’t in the house all day long like before. We had a new alarm clock to wake us up and Mama had to get up to take me to school and she always did and I was almost always on time. I had lots of friends at school and the teachers said I was a good worker. I brought home pictures and other things I’d made at school and Mama would stick them on the fridge with letter magnets, like in houses on the TV. Sometimes I had a friend home to play after school and some days Mama would even make cakes for us, with icing. She was just like the mamas I saw on TV.
Anna came to see me a lot at first, but after a while she came less and less, though she always said that I could call her whenever I liked and made sure that her number was stuck on the fridge. That was the other thing that was different, now that Mama had a job, she had enough money for us to have our own phone in the flat and I didn’t need to be scared of getting stuck inside with no food again even if Mama did go somewhere. But mainly I didn’t have to be scared because Mama didn’t leave me on my own anyway.
Then Mama got a boyfriend. His name was Dave. He would bring me sweets and chocolate bars when he came over but even so, I didn’t like him very much. I was used to it being just me and Mama at home but when Dave came over he’d give me 50p to go to my room and even though I liked having the 50p and the sweets I didn’t like having to go to my room, but I didn’t want to say that I didn’t want to go in case it made her cry. I wondered if I should tell Anna about Dave and about having to go to my room, but I didn’t want to get Mama into trouble or be sad so I didn’t say anything.
And then one day I came home from school, Dave had gone and Mama was on the kitchen floor crying. Then the next morning she wasn’t there. I rang Anna.