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Contents ( 108)
  1. SUNDAY
  2. JOEL
  3. FRIDAY
  4. JOEL
  5. CLARK
  6. JAMAL
  7. JOEL
  8. BETHANY
  9. SATURDAY
  10. JOEL
  11. CLARK
  12. SUNDAY
  13. JOEL
  14. MONDAY
  15. CLARK
  16. KIMBRA
  17. CLARK
  18. JOEL
  19. TUESDAY
  20. CLARK
  21. BETHANY
  22. CLARK
  23. KIMBRA
  24. CLARK
  25. WEDNESDAY
  26. JOEL
  27. CLARK
  28. JOEL
  29. CLARK
  30. JOEL
  31. CLARK
  32. JOEL
  33. LUKE
  34. JOEL
  35. CLARK
  36. THURSDAY
  37. JAMAL
  38. CLARK
  39. JOEL
  40. CLARK
  41. KIMBRA
  42. JOEL
  43. CLARK
  44. JOEL
  45. LUKE
  46. JOEL
  47. LUKE
  48. JOEL
  49. FRIDAY
  50. JAMAL
  51. CLARK
  52. JOEL
  53. CLARK
  54. JOEL
  55. CLARK
  56. JOEL
  57. KIMBRA
  58. JOEL
  59. KIMBRA
  60. JOEL
  61. LUKE
  62. JAMAL
  63. CLARK
  64. KIMBRA
  65. LUKE
  66. BETHANY
  67. LUKE
  68. CLARK
  69. BETHANY
  70. JAMAL
  71. LUKE
  72. JOEL
  73. LUKE
  74. BETHANY
  75. JOEL
  76. JAMAL
  77. CLARK
  78. LUKE
  79. BETHANY
  80. JOEL
  81. BETHANY
  82. JOEL
  83. LUKE
  84. CLARK
  85. KIMBRA
  86. LUKE
  87. CLARK
  88. JAMAL
  89. KIMBRA
  90. CLARK
  91. BETHANY
  92. JAMAL
  93. CLARK
  94. KIMBRA
  95. CLARK
  96. JAMAL
  97. BETHANY
  98. JOEL
  99. JAMAL
  100. JOEL
  101. BETHANY
  102. JAMAL
  103. BETHANY
  104. CLARK
  105. AFTER
  106. CLARK
  107. JOEL
  108. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Two red bricks were positioned to either side of the head. The sheet had been folded back to rest on Dylan’s chin. “Why did you stop the sheet there?” Joel asked.

The mortician shot a quick, panicked glance at the deputies. Mayfield said, “The boy was in the water for a while, son.”

Joel didn’t move. He pointed at the bricks. “Why is his head like this?”

Mayfield let out a long sigh.

Clark said, “Don’t do this to yourself, Joel.”

“Fold it down.”

“Joel—”

“Fold it down.”

Mayfield gave Mr. Ortiz a little nod of assent. The sheet sighed as it was raised.

A wide wound to the neck exposing a dull mass of private flesh. Fibers of muscle, the severed cords of the vein and the artery. A dark cavity at the core, which even the whining lights above couldn’t penetrate.

Joel stared at the wound until the logic of his mind threatened to break down. He saw a hole that refused to be seen. He heard the whispers of dreams, the whisper of a voice hissing through static and doors:

imissedyou.

Joel noted every detail one final time. He nodded to Mr. Ortiz, to the police. He thanked them in a voice that didn’t sound like his own.

Joel returned home to the silence of a house in grief. He brought inside the first of many flowers deposited on the porch. The lights all off inside, the tactless sun beaming through the open windows.

Joel could feel his mother asleep down the hall—he had loaded her down with enough Xanax and Ambien to knock out a horse. Darren stepped out from the kitchen.

“You were always good to him,” Darren said. “You always took care of him.”

Joel didn’t have the words to answer this.

“It was good of you to send him that money. I know it meant so much to him.”

“Money?”

“That two thousand you sent him, back over the summer, to get him some savings started. I saw him counting it in his room but I never told nothing to Paulette about it, of course. He said the two of you wanted to keep it private.” Darren caught himself, teetered on the edge of tears. “I took him to the bank to open his account and put in two thousand of my own money. Though I don’t guess he’ll be needing it now.”

The two men embraced for so long they forgot they were doing it. Darren held on for his own reasons. Joel was too preoccupied to manage the effort of letting go. A single fact tumbled and tumbled through his head.

He had never sent his brother a dime.

TUESDAY

THE HOUSE AT THE COAST

CLARK

They drove through a clutch of little towns that looked just like Bentley. The same cramped businesses and towering churches, the same empty streets and dangling stoplights. After leaving high school, Clark had spent a brief, ugly marriage in Waco, a hundred miles away. Since returning to Pettis County three years ago with a criminal justice diploma, she’d felt a quiet pride in knowing that she had become one of the guardians of her hometown, one of the quiet few who kept the fires lit. Bentley’s streets, its flat horizons, had comforted her upon her return in a way they never had in school. Had been blessedly familiar. Stable.