But then understanding slams into me like a blow to the stomach. For a moment I had forgotten our ruse. And yet I gave him permission to kiss me. I wanted him to. I long to curl up inside myself and disappear. To love someone who doesn’t love you back is an aching thing.

I should pull away, but I don’t.

Reality and fantasy melt together, and before I know it, I’m kissing him back. My fingers tunnel through his hair. I let myself imagine I’m the Saskia on my other path, and I pour all of my heartache and longing into the space between us.

And then Bram is yanked away from me. Cold rushes through my body, and I open my eyes to find Rasmus, his face twisted with rage.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he shouts. I could ask myself the same question. I try to formulate an answer, but I’m distracted by the vein bulging at his temple. And the stunned expression on Bram’s face, two fingers pressed to his lips as if he’s not sure what just happened.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“Not as sorry as you’re going to be.” He shoves my training cloak into my arms. “Put that on, and get back to the inn. Now.”

I take off Bram’s cloak and give it back to him. Rasmus glowers at me as I wrap my own around my shoulders. It’s ice cold, as if he’s been wandering through the streets with it for hours.

“I really am sorry—”

He clenches his jaw and gives me a look so severe that I snap my mouth closed.

Bram and I walk in silence, the shadow of Rasmus looming behind us like a threat. Usually, his steps are muffled, but tonight each footfall lands with a thud. I’ve never seen him so angry.

My feelings are a tangle inside me. I’m not sure what I expected—I knew Rasmus would be angry, but I wasn’t counting on him to look so betrayed. Guilt stabs through me like invisible blades.

And I certainly wasn’t counting on Avalina to force me to see Latham from a different angle. I thought if we found her, she’d either be his match or his opposite—someone as evil as him, or an innocent victim of his schemes who would be as eager for revenge as I am. I didn’t think it was possible that she could make me understand him better. Or at least understand the boy he used to be.

And then there’s the dizzying memory of that kiss.

We reach the courtyard of the inn. The cobblestones are bathed in soft pools of yellow lamplight. In the distance I hear the gentle sound of waves lapping against the shore.

I stop at the entrance and turn to face Rasmus. “What now?”