For months I’ve tortured myself with my mother’s death. With what I might have done differently to save her. In moments where I was feeling gentle with myself, I reasoned that there was nothing I could have done to change the future.

But I was wrong. There were a series of events that would have saved her life. That would have saved us both.

Is it possible that Latham can change the past without killing me? And if I let him have his way—allow him all the power he could ever want—will I get my mother back?

I swipe at the tears running down my face.

Tessa’s hand falls on my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Could I heal this bone before Latham returns? Could I be the one who chooses the future?

I squeeze my eyes closed, and all I can see behind my lids are my mother’s hands. Her hands cupped around my face as she told me she loved me. Her hands gesturing wildly in the air every time she discussed something that made her angry. Her hands cold against my skin after she died.

I’ve always thought I’d do anything to have her back.

But would I?

It’s an impossible choice. Latham as king would be disastrous. It would be everything I’ve been fighting to prevent. But my mother would be alive. We’d leave Kastelia—she’d take me somewhere far away—and we would be safe. We’d be together.

“Saskia, you’re scaring me,” Tessa says. “What did you see?”

I turn toward her, ignoring her question in favor of one of my own.

“Do you think you could get me some books on Mending?”

Her expression clouds. “I can tell you anything you need to know.”

“But can you get me a book?”

“Yes,” she says, “I’m sure I could.”

“Good. I’m going to need to learn as much as I can.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

I’m silent on the walk back to Ivory Hall. Thoughts move through my mind like dancers in an overcrowded ballroom—worries rustling against one another like silk skirts—with no space to move freely. It’s suffocating.

“Do you want to talk about whatever happened back there?” Tessa asks once we reach the top of the hill.

I struggle for a way to respond that won’t hurt her feelings. But I can’t find one. “Not now. I think I need to be alone for a while.”

She hesitates, her lips pressed into a thin white line. “Saskia—”

Jacey squeezes Tessa’s shoulder. “Let her be.”

I give Jacey a small, grateful smile and peel off from the others. I wander around the grounds for a while, trying to collect my thoughts. I ache with how much I miss my mother. I ache with what it would take to get her back.