“Is that why you brought up the prison boat before our first task?”

I shrug. “I thought it would make things better between us if you knew how sorry I was. It did on my other path.”

“And then what?” Bram’s voice is husky.

I shoot him a questioning glance.

“You said I was angry at first, and then what?”

I almost don’t answer him. But I’m so tired of being afraid.

“You fell in love with me. And I died in your arms.”

I don’t look at him as I speak. I don’t want to see his face right now. But the words dislodge an old wound from my heart, like removing a stubborn splinter.

Bram shifts in his seat. His hands grip the edge of the wall. And I wonder if I’ve only transferred my discomfort to him.

“The tattoo on your wrist …?”

“Not from Declan.” But he already knew that from our visit to Avalina. I can tell he wants to press the point further, but he doesn’t, and I’m glad I don’t have to say it out loud. That I was in love with him once, in another life. That I’m in love with him in this life too. As much as I’ve tried to tell myself the feelings aren’t real, I can’t deny them any longer. Imagined feelings would have faded by now. My tattoo would have faded. Maybe love is love no matter how it begins.

I sneak a glance at him, and he’s looking at me with the strangest expression. He lays a palm against my cheek, his thumb feathering against my skin, and I melt inside.

He leans toward me, so close that I can feel his breath against my face. And then something shifts in his expression and he sits back. His hand falls to his lap.

“Saskia, I need to tell you something.” His voice sounds sad, resigned.

A roar grows in my ears.

“Is it going to break my heart?”

He flinches. “I’m afraid it might.”

I feel my rib cage curl inward, as if preparing to protect my vital organs from a blast. “Then don’t tell me.”

“But—”

I stand and rest my hand briefly on the crown of his head. “Please. Just let it be. I don’t think I can handle any more heartbreak tonight. Good night, Bram.”

And with that, I turn and walk away.

I’ve been trying so hard to protect my heart, to convince myself that my feelings for Bram weren’t real, but I didn’t lie to myself as well as I thought. Somehow a bit of hope trickled in. And it’s been gathering power. A cresting wave of optimism that just violently crashed.