And it’s not just that it taxes my magical abilities. It drains me emotionally. Every time I start down a path that shows a glimmer of happiness for Latham, my mind recoils. It was one thing to see Latham’s past—as an innocent child or a love-struck new apprentice—but exploring his future when I know what choices he’s already made, when I fully understand his potential for evil, demands a level of strength I’m not sure I can maintain for long. How can I watch him find happiness when I know he doesn’t deserve it?

So I force myself to pretend he’s a stranger. To watch his potential futures unfold as dispassionately as I can. Unlike the First Sight readings, this time certain pathways are more brightly lit than others, so I explore them first. On one path, it’s clear Latham was able to be matched with Avalina, and the two of them fall more deeply in love. I see him move with her to Leiden. They walk along the beach at sunrise, watch the waves lap at the shore, sink their bare feet in the warm sand. The ocean calms him.

He becomes Leiden’s Bone Charmer. It suits him—gently guiding the future of the townsfolk, knowing they trust him implicitly. Avalina brings out the best in him. She tempers his ambition—softens it just enough that it serves him well instead of turning him into a monster. They have a houseful of children—three sons and two daughters—who are treasured and adored. Their home is filled with chaos and laughter and love. He and Avalina drift off to sleep each night with their hands intertwined as if they want to be connected even in their dreams.

But other paths are well lit too, and as I explore them, I find a very different Latham. In some, I watch him take his place on the Grand Council. Other paths keep him teaching at Ivory Hall. I watch as the council members responsible for keeping him from Avalina are punished—disgraced with scandal, put on trial for crimes they didn’t commit, brutally murdered.

I notice a pattern. The paths always seem to branch in two opposite directions: choices that lead to vengeance and choices that lead to Avalina. The two never overlap. Seeking revenge leads Latham further and further from the woman he loves. But choosing her means the members of the council never get their comeuppance.

He can’t have it both ways. He has to choose one or the other.

I have to take frequent breaks. I’m bleary with exhaustion.

“Maybe we should come back another time,” Bram says. I’ve just come out of a vision, and I stretch my arms over my head, knead at a knot in my shoulder. I feel as if I’ve been awake for days.