I sighed. “And all this time I thought you were so observant.” I turned my eyes back to the gate.

“Would you have?”

“Have what?”

“Rejected him?”

“What do you mean?”

She huffed. “If Etan had declared his undying love, if he had asked you to wait for him . . .”

“Oh. That’s . . . He didn’t ask that.”

“For goodness’ sake, but if he had, Hollis.”

“No, all right?” I lowered my voice again quickly, seeing heads rise in my periphery. After a steadying breath, I whispered my reply. “I certainly wouldn’t have told anyone about it because I don’t want you thinking I didn’t care about Silas, but no . . . I wouldn’t have rejected him. I’d have sent him an open invitation myself if I were free to.”

I swallowed, feeling a strange ache in my chest now that I’d admitted it out loud.

Scarlet’s hand was on mine. “I know, in my heart of hearts, that if Silas were here, you’d have devoted your life to his happiness. I know you to be loyal and caring, almost to a fault. You mustn’t hold it against yourself that you never had the opportunity to prove it. We certainly don’t. You are free, Hollis.”

“I’m not. It would hurt Mother, I just know it.” I toyed with the ring on my finger, the one that she gave me, the one passed down from Jedreck himself. I’d earned the right to wear it by marrying her son. I couldn’t just abandon it. “Besides, if Etan succeeds, he will be king. He will have to marry for advantage. He’ll need to establish his line as fast as he can, and I’m sure every lord who vows to support him will expect him to marry an Isolten girl with an impressive lineage to back his up.”

“You’re an Isolten girl now, Hollis. And you have an impressive lineage.”

I sighed. “That’s not . . . why are you so adamant about this?”

She shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. “I already told you. We need something to celebrate. Besides”—she looked back to the room, keeping her tone quiet—“everyone’s made a comment or two about how close you’ve become over this trip. I don’t know how it happened, but it’s enough of a change that everyone sees it. Perhaps not the full depth of it, but still. And when they mention it, it’s always with a smile.”

I considered this, that there was a chance that no one would hate me for falling for Etan. But I couldn’t give in to gravity just yet. Their support comforted me, but I was still convinced he had no interest. He called me his friend, he didn’t want to get married anyway, and if he ever did, there would be expectations.

It’d be better to keep the scraps of my heart to myself; some poor boy might want them eventually.

“I need to watch the gate, Scarlet. For now, I just need him to live.”