“All we do is live. The point has always been to live. I told you I plan to make it to the end of this alive and free, and I meant it. And if something happens to you and to Mother and to everyone else, and I’m the only one left? I’m still going to do that. You’re an Eastoffe now, Hollis. You want to know your part in the family? Your role? Your role is to live.”

My eyes welled as I thought back to Mother holding me in the dirt in the garden, refusing to let me go back. “Mother said something like that. She said Silas made plans for me, agreements. I was to live.”

She nodded. “Of course he did. She knew it, I did, we all did. So, if you’re in love, Hollis, go and live that life. It’s the only thing he ever wanted for you.”

Tears spilled down my cheeks again. “I know. He didn’t rescue me from the castle so I’d be miserable. But even if you’re comfortable with me moving on, who’s to say anyone else is? And . . . honestly, Scarlet, I’m not sure Etan even wants me.”

She shrugged. “I think he does. And I think the entire family would rejoice in your happiness. It’s been so long since we’ve had anything to celebrate. We’ve lost our homes; I lost my father and brothers. Aunt Jovana and Uncle Reid lost their daughters. Both to sickness, not the crown,” Scarlet assured me quickly. “Still, no one wants any of us to sit in our misery. If that’s the only thing holding you back . . .”

I wiped away my tears. “No, it’s not. I have bigger plans than this, remember? Gypsies. Goats. I’m not giving all that up.”

She giggled. “You’re ridiculous, Hollis.” She gave me a hug, holding me tight. “We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is the day.”

I sighed. “Yes. Whatever happens, Scarlet, I’m with you.”

“I know.”

She settled back in, looking disappointed that I was refusing to simply say I wanted Etan, but he’d been clear, and I knew it wasn’t worth attempting. Besides, we had other things, other possibilities laid out before us. They would be coming with the dawn.

Twenty-Three

THE NEXT MORNING, I DELAYED in our room for as long as I could, nervous to see Etan today. Was he going to explain himself? Apologize? Ignore the whole thing?

Ignoring it was certainly my plan until he chose to acknowledge it. Scarlet might have her suspicions, but she didn’t know there was a kiss. No one did. And that was how it would stay.

“Ready?” Scarlet asked.

I shook my head.

“Don’t you worry. Valentina will come through for us, I know it.”

I’d almost forgotten about Valentina. I hoisted myself up, trying not to look as nervous as I felt. “Let’s go.”

In the main room, only Mother was out and waiting. “There you are, girls. Both looking very smart today.” She was patting at her hair repeatedly, as if it was somehow falling out of place. It wasn’t. “I do feel it’s a bit early for a wedding, but I suppose that leaves for a whole day of celebrating. The weather is so nice for it, don’t you think?”