I narrowed my eyes. “And why is that?” I shot back sarcastically.

“Because I know you, Hollis.” He finally looked at me, his eyes stern.

The words were eerily similar to something that Silas had said once, words that made me see I needed to run away with him, even if it led to my ruin. If Etan Northcott thought he was going to steal the memory of those words, he was mistaken.

“You may know many things, Etan Northcott, but you do not know me.”

“Yes, I do,” he insisted quietly. “I know that you have already had your fill of death. I know that you would rather live a long life alone in agony if it meant those you loved could walk the earth just a little while longer. I know . . .” He paused, swallowing hard. “I know that, even when you’re miserable, you look out for other people. It’s been years since I’ve seen my mother smile the way she did when you put flowers in her hair.” He looked down, almost seeming ashamed. “And I know that you think that Aunt Whitley and Scarlet will forget you, that my parents will, too . . . but they won’t.”

Etan had seen right through my walls, to my poorly concealed fears. Tears stung at my eyes, so I didn’t dare speak.

“I’ve already done everything you’re thinking of doing,” he told me. “And I built a wall between myself and my family. It makes it easier for them to bear not having me near. But you are different. You light up any room you’re in, and if you are not there when they wake tomorrow, Hollis, they will all be defeated by it.”

“They wo—”

“They will,” he assured me. “Come home.”

Home. What was home anymore? I certainly didn’t know.

I looked at him, studying the seriousness in his eyes as he went on. “You do realize that, if you continue, I will just be sent to fetch you all the same, even if I have to follow you to the border. And while I appreciate your proclivity to heroism, that boldness will undoubtedly be wrung out of you there.”

I sighed, knowing he was right. If I kept going, he’d only track me, and that would certainly end in disaster. If not for me, then for him. And I couldn’t be the cause of more mourning.

Wordlessly, I urged Madge into a trot, heading back to the manor. “How will we make this work at the house?” I asked. “You can’t stand me, and I’m not particularly fond of you myself.”

“Easy. Self-control. Believe it or not, I have some. We will simply avoid speaking to one another unless we absolutely must. And as much as it pains me, I will drop all insults to Coroa and your unfortunate loyalty for the time being.”

I sighed. “I just gave you every last penny I have. Is that not enough to prove I’m with you?”