While I tried to think of what to say, he switched gears and shared in an anguished tone, “The number of times I thought about tracking you down after that . . . but I was weak. I was terrified you’d be happily married with kids, and then I’d lose all I had—the memories that’d been keeping me from losing my mind.” That honest truth swelled between us, carved its way through my chest, and grabbed hold of my heart. “Then you’d be gone for good, and I’d have to accept the only woman in my life ever to make me feel anything like you did was gone for good.”

He freed a tear.

Then another.

A slow, slow fall down to his lips, and he slid his tongue over his bottom lip to catch it as if shocked it was there, that it was real.

“I’m here now.” I hugged him. “I’m not going⁠—”

A loud, screeching alarm startled us both, shocking my shoulders back.

Before either of us could say or do anything, Colin hollered out, “Sorry! That was just me trying to go out.” We didn’t have a chance to untangle ourselves before he appeared in the doorway, the alarm still blaring.

“It’s not what it looks like.” Constantine discarded any evidence of his emotions so fast I almost missed it, then shifted me from his lap.

Colin leaned against the interior doorframe, stroking his jaw, smirking. “Sure, sure. Because what it looks like to me is that Mom was sitting on your lap while you’re shirtless.” His teasing smile dissolved the second he made eye contact with me.

My puffy, swollen eyes would be a good indicator that sex was the last thing on our minds.

Colin straightened, arms dropping nervously as Constantine stood and killed the alarm. “You okay? Someone die? What happened?” he quickly fifty-questioned me. (Okay, more like three.) But after everything I just went through with his father, it might as well have been that many. My head was still spinning.

“Everything’s fine.” Constantine put on his shirt and faced him. “Except for the fact you were trying to leave. What were you thinking? Where were you going?”

“Oh, right, that.” He tore a hand through his hair, fiddling with the ends. “The PlayStation is in the lobby with the security dude. I need to sign for it.”

“You mean I need to sign for it. You did use my card, right?” At our son’s nod, he added, “Don’t try and leave like that again. No going anywhere without me until I say it’s safe, got it?”

I went to stand, and Constantine didn’t miss a beat. He was at my side in a second, helping me up.