“I think it’s safe to say we’re already far from basics. You can ask me whatever you want, as long as it’s not to get in that bed with you, and I’ll answer.”

“Okay.” She continued to run her short nails at the side of my head. “This room reminds me of Aruba. Why?”

My gaze shot to the scars on my arm. “Anything but getting in that bed with you or talking about the bed.” Before I could say more, my phone beeped from a notification. “That’s the food. We should eat.” Seeing her downturned mouth and knowing I’d made it that way sent me to my feet. “I will tell you, I promise. It’s just not whatever you’re thinking.”

She gave a slight nod. “Oh.”

Shit. “It is what you think, but not for . . .” I was fucking this up. “This bed, this room, is because of you, yes. But there’s a story behind it.” I’d do anything to protect her from her own negative thoughts, even if it meant living through the pain of mine.

“I don’t understand.” She chewed on her lip.

“You will. Soon. You will.” I tossed my thumb over my shoulder. “The food.”

“Right. The food.” She faked a smile. I could already tell the difference between her real ones and her manufactured ones, and it hurt that she’d felt the need to produce one on my behalf. “I don’t want Colin to see me like this. I’m acting okay now, but the second I try to walk, we’re going to have problems.”

Got it. “I’ll bring your food here. We’ll eat together. I’m sure he’ll be fine with eating in his room.” I wasn’t sure I could get through a family dinner anyway.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Of course. Anything for you.”

I took off after that as the swell of emotions crested inside me and quickly grabbed the food from the lobby.

Back in the kitchen, I dished it out, giving Colin more since he was a growing boy, then went upstairs with his meal. I hadn’t faced him since learning he’d been at Rebecca’s wake, and my heart raced at the mere thought of confronting him.

I paused outside his door, but from the sounds of it, he was on the phone.

“Having him here is all I ever wanted.” Those words nailed me to the floor and kept me from knocking.

So much for sticking to the plan and not telling Lennon who I am.

“I feel like I’m going to wake up, and it’s not real. That he’s not really here.”

My fingers curled into my palm at my side, and I stepped closer instead of offering him the privacy he deserved, hanging on to every word I knew he’d never say to my face.