I stood as she told me to, and Andrew came up beside me. He rubbed lube inside me with his finger, which felt very uncomfortable, and started to push his penis into me. I was very glad that it was small. As I stood there being entered, I noticed that my penis was starting to get hard.

“Good boy,” Julie said. “Looks like someone’s been learning from all the lessons we’ve given. Don’t worry—I’m going to make you like this.”

As she said this, she moved down between my legs and slipped the head of my dick in her mouth. She began to stroke me expertly until I was hard and ready to burst, Andrew still pumping my ass. I heard Andrew say “Okay” to her, and she increased the speed with her mouth and hand so that I started to cum. At the same time, I felt Andrew’s spasms inside of me.

We separated and rested for a minute. Julie and Andrew were getting dressed by the time I looked up.

“Now, Doctor,” she said, “you seem to have developed a strong attraction for men over the course of our sessions with you. If you want to be truly happy sexually, then you should start seeing some gay men socially. There is a strong homosexual side to you that needs exploring.

“We’ll be in touch. Come on, Andrew,” she said as she walked to the door, with an emphasis on “Andrew” that made me realize that it probably was not his name.

ELOISE CHAGRIN

on “Playing Doctor”

It surprises me to no end that the sexual fetish of cuckoldry, once thought of as a disability, could be shared by so many people. The cuckolding fetish has an element of surprise, along with a bittersweet emotional masochism.

Another key to the fetish, from the perspective of the cuckold, is that of eroticizing as a defense mechanism. When someone you care about expresses their interest in another person, you wrestle with your inadequacies. This fight may take on different forms, in many cases with the ultimate rejection of your lover.

However, if your bond is strong, and you’re able to put aside that sense of self, then it’s possible to experience pleasure vicariously.

Many people may think of this as abhorrent, as tantamount to abuse, while others believe it’s an essential part of their sexual health. I don’t know; I’m only trying to describe something that I’ve thought about for a long time.

Some may find putting oneself second to be deleterious to one’s emotional health; others find something beautiful in the idea of loving your partner so much that you become attracted to whatever role he or she plays, whatever the two of you become. I leave the benedictions to others.