Lenore had a more sophisticated appearance but an even less subtle approach; as soon as the door was closed she came up to me, got down on her knees, and started tugging at my pants zipper. “Tell me what you like,” she said, and though I enjoyed imagining what her tongue might do to me, I wasn’t interested; I quoted All About Eve to let her know why: “I’ll tell you what I like, Lenore. I like to go after what I want. I don’t want it coming after me.”

Maybe Trixie would be better behaved.

The Interview (Trixie)

Oh, no, the receptionist is telling me to go in, and I just slipped my shoe off, okay, got it, here I go, now she’s calling me back, oh, great, I left my bag on the chair, good work, Trixie, all right, review the four points, learn fast, organized, responsive, and responsible. No, responsible and responsive.

“Oh, what a nice office,” I hear myself saying. Stupid, stupid, not a good way to begin.

“Yes, I like it very much,” she says. “Have a seat. No, no, on the chair, not the couch. I save that for more informal occasions. Well, Ms. Davis—or can I call you Trixie? Yes? Good. Trixie. Why don’t you tell me what you like about the office. Why do you find it nice?”

This is a funny way to start an interview, but she’s the boss. “Well, it’s very comfortable.” She’s staring at me. Maybe she’s checking out my analytical skills. “The colors are warm, and there’s a mix of office furniture, like your desk and all those filing cabinets, and then furniture that’s more, um, cozy, like the couch and the bar and the mirrors.”

She’s smiling, that’s good. What’s she asking now? Oh, okay, normal questions, typing speed, my qualifications, why I want the job, why I left my last job. I think we’re getting along well. She’s very attractive—forties, sharp suit, pants, very short hair.

“You know you’re not really qualified for this position, don’t you, Trixie?”

I blush, but remember to hold my ground. “I may not be right now, but I’ll work hard and—”

“But I’m going to hire you anyway,” she interrupts. “Because I can tell that you’ll be amenable to training, and that you have the makings of a truly gifted assistant. You had a very special relationship with your previous employer, didn’t you? Gillian Jackson?”

Now I’m blushing even more, because the way she mentions Gillian makes me nervous. “We got along very well, and I really enjoyed working with her.”