Chapters (39)
- Cover
- Dedication
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
- What’s next onyour reading list?
IT TURNS OUT the only thing worse than getting ready for prom is getting ready for prom alone. Hannah and I were supposed to get dressed together, but she ignored me earlier when I texted to go over details, so I guess we’re not talking.
I’m standing in front of the mirror with an eyelash curler, staring at it like it’s a weapon of torture. The events from last night keep flashing through my head like some twisted movie reel of my greatest mistakes—playing spin the bottle, taking a bath with Andrew, fighting with Hannah. I know I said some messed-up things to her about Charlie, but I can’t remember them. I can only remember the way the color drained from her face, the sick feeling in my stomach when she told me I was delusional. When she told me I was in love with Andrew.
I push everything from my mind and try my luck with the eyelash curler. I know I should have texted Danielle or Ava—someone would have taken me under her wing for today, but Hannah is probably with them. Besides, I can’t handle watching Danielle get ready, listening to her excited chatter about her stupid night with Andrew. But as I wrangle with the eyelash curler and all the rest of it, I wish more than ever I had Hannah here to fairy-godmother me; that I hadn’t pushed her away.
My mom swoops in to save me. I never realized she actually knew how to do any of this because she’s always so dressed down and mellow. But maybe part of being a woman is learning how to put on this armor. She paints my lips a dark red, sweeps my hair to one side, soft waves down my back. Hannah made me buy the green dress from the mall, and I guess it doesn’t look as ridiculous as I thought. When I check the mirror, I don’t even recognize myself. For the first time, I think I understand what Dean sees in me.
“You look beautiful,” my mom says when she’s all done. And I smile, because I actually agree.
Dean said he would meet me at the lake, so my parents drive me there for pictures. I ask them to stay in the car, but I know they won’t. This is probably even more meaningful to them than it is to me. My mom needs these pictures for when I’m in California.