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Contents ( 59)
  1. THE BATTLE OF THE BOOKS
  2. * * *
  3. JONATHAN SWIFT
  4. *
  5. Contents
  6. *
  7. Introduction
  8. *
  9. The Bookseller to the Reader
  10. *
  11. The Preface of the Author
  12. *
  13. The Battle of the Books
  14. *
  15. The Episode of Bentley and Wotton
  16. *
  17. A Meditation Upon a Broomstick
  18. *
  19. Predictions for the Year 1708
  20. *
  21. The Accomplishment of the First of Mr. Bickerstaff's Predictions
  22. *
  23. Baucis and Philemon
  24. *
  25. The Logicians Refuted
  26. *
  27. The Puppet Show
  28. *
  29. Cadenus and Vanessa
  30. *
  31. Stella's Birthday, 1718
  32. *
  33. Stella's Birthday, 1720
  34. *
  35. Stella's Birthday
  36. *
  37. Stella's Birthday, 1724
  38. *
  39. Stella's Birthday, March 13, 1726
  40. *
  41. To Stella
  42. *
  43. The First He Wrote Oct 17, 1727
  44. *
  45. The Second Prayer was Written Nov 6, 1727
  46. *
  47. The Beasts' Confession
  48. *
  49. An Argument Against Abolishing Christianity
  50. *
  51. Hints Towards an Essay on Conversation
  52. *
  53. Thoughts on Various Subjects
  54. *
  55. A Modest Proposal
  56. *
  57. * * *
  58. Endnotes
  59. *

It is unwise to punish cowards with ignominy, for if they had regarded that they would not have been cowards; death is their proper punishment, because they fear it most.

The greatest inventions were produced in the times of ignorance, as the use of the compass, gunpowder, and printing, and by the dullest nation, as the Germans.

One argument to prove that the common relations of ghosts and spectres are generally false, may be drawn from the opinion held that spirits are never seen by more than one person at a time; that is to say, it seldom happens to above one person in a company to be possessed with any high degree of spleen or melancholy.

I am apt to think that, in the day of Judgment, there will be small allowance given to the wise for their want of morals, nor to the ignorant for their want of faith, because both are without excuse. This renders the advantages equal of ignorance and knowledge. But, some scruples in the wise, and some vices in the ignorant, will perhaps be forgiven upon the strength of temptation to each.

The value of several circumstances in story lessens very much by distance of time, though some minute circumstances are very valuable; and it requires great judgment in a writer to distinguish.

It is grown a word of course for writers to say, "This critical age," as divines say, "This sinful age."

It is pleasant to observe how free the present age is in laying taxes on the next. Future ages shall talk of this; this shall be famous to all posterity. Whereas their time and thoughts will be taken up about present things, as ours are now.

The chameleon, who is said to feed upon nothing but air, hath, of all animals, the nimblest tongue.

When a man is made a spiritual peer he loses his surname; when a temporal, his Christian name.

It is in disputes as in armies, where the weaker side sets up false lights, and makes a great noise, to make the enemy believe them more numerous and strong than they really are.

Some men, under the notions of weeding out prejudices, eradicate virtue, honesty, and religion.

In all well-instituted commonwealths, care has been taken to limit men's possessions; which is done for many reasons, and among the rest, for one which perhaps is not often considered: that when bounds are set to men's desires, after they have acquired as much as the laws will permit them, their private interest is at an end, and they have nothing to do but to take care of the public.

There are but three ways for a man to revenge himself of the censure of the world: to despise it, to return the like, or to endeavour to live so as to avoid it. The first of these is usually pretended, the last is almost impossible; the universal practice is for the second.

I never heard a finer piece of satire against lawyers than that of astrologers, when they pretend by rules of art to tell when a suit will end, and whether to the advantage of the plaintiff or defendant; thus making the matter depend entirely upon the influence of the stars, without the least regard to the merits of the cause.