“Ty, we know you can do it,” Otter says. “You know that. We’ve always believed in you. Your brother and I know that you’re going to do great things, no matter what you decide to do.”

Bear’s voice is harder. “Did Dominic say something to you? Is that what brought this on?”

I roll my eyes. “Really? What about him suggests to you he’d be petty like that? He’s all rah-rah Team Tyson like everyone else. He wouldn’t say a damn thing.” And he wouldn’t. As a matter of fact, Dom’s been pushing me more than anyone else about my future, telling me that I need to make something of myself, that I need to become someone like he didn’t. I try to tell him that of course he’s someone, because he’s someone to me, but he keeps pressing the issue. It almost hurts to hear, even if he means well.

“Why is that such a bad thing?” Otter asks, reading between my words.

I’m struggling to find the right words again. “Because… he’s…. Look, Bear, you’ve been here with me my whole life. Otter almost as long. And Creed and Anna and… Mrs. Paquinn.” Oh, how I wish you were here right now. “It’s all the same. But… Dom… he hasn’t been here the whole time. I… just don’t know that I’m done with him. There’s got to be more to say. He’s got to show me that….” Tears start to burn my eyes, and I can’t finish.

“You want him to tell you to stay,” Bear says, having one of those flashes of insight that only he can do with me. Dom may be my best friend and the one I want to tell my secrets to. Otter may be the father I never had. But it’s my brother who knows me better than anyone else in the world. Maybe that’s why I’m so desperate to have him near right now. I need him to listen and say the things I won’t, even if I can’t quite face them.

“No,” I say, though it’s a lie. “I don’t know. I’m all he has. What’s he going to do without me? Who’s going to remind him to eat? Who’s going to tell him that his clothes don’t match when he tries to wear plaid and stripes at the same time? Who’s going to remind him that his phone bill is due?”

Bear and Otter exchange one of those maddening looks, and I don’t know what it means. “Kid—Ty—you can’t make a decision on your future based upon your friend,” Bear says, and for a split second, the smallest moment in time, I hate him for his words. “You’ll never get anywhere in life like that.”

My eyes snap to his. “You make decisions based upon Otter all the time.”

He shakes his head. “That’s different and you know it.”

“How? How is that any different?”

“Otter’s my husband, Kid. He’s more than just my friend.”

“That’s not fair! Maybe Dom is—” more to me too, I almost say, but I stop myself, horrified at the words even as they try to spill from my mouth. I can’t look at that now. I can’t. Not with everything else going on. “Maybe Dom is very important to me,” I finish lamely, not looking at either of them, fearing what they’ll see in my eyes.