Dammit. So close. Even I don’t know how he got to that one. I must be slipping with my Bearology. I used to have his neurosis down to the smallest detail. Which makes me very, very sad.

“We’re not going to get raped and murdered,” I say.

“And even if we did,” Corey says, “using the laws of averages and Horror Movie Trivia, at least one of us would need to survive so we could come back for the sequel.” He shakes his head sadly. “It probably won’t be me. I’m not white.”

“I would feel really sad if it was you,” I say, lying through my teeth.

“I somehow doubt that,” he replies, that smirk back on his face.

“No raping!” Bear shouts.

“They’re not going to get raped,” Otter says, trying to soothe Bear. “Tyson isn’t stupid enough to go into an abandoned meat-packing plant in the middle of nowhere.” Good to know he came to the same conclusion I did.

“Well,” I say, “I probably wouldn’t. But if it looks like it’s still in operation, all bets are off. Do you know how many of our animal friends are monstrously torn apart every—”

“Kid, you’re not helping your cause,” Creed says. “I’d shut your trap.”

He’s probably right. Bear looks like he’s ready to lock me up in my room, never to release me from my tower.

“I am twenty years old,” I remind them. “Legally, I can go wherever I choose.”

“Probably not the best argument,” Otter says, “however true. Especially since you’d be using our car.”

“I’ll just rent a car!”

“You’re not twenty-five,” Anna says.

“And you have, like, four dollars,” Corey reminds me.

“I am going to be trapped with all of you for the rest of my life,” I groan, and for some reason, this causes almost everyone to smile stupidly.

“We’ll go through Idaho,” Corey offers. “Then down through Nevada. Avoid the whole ‘cannibal Californian’ thing all together.”

“No,” Bear says quietly. “Stay out of Idaho.” He glances at me, and we both know why. That’s where she lives. Or at least, that’s where she was living the last time we heard from her. It’s not like there’s any chance I’ll accidentally run into her, but with all the things that have happened to our family, I wouldn’t dismiss it completely. We tend to get the brunt of the bullshit all at once. It’s kind of our thing.

“One of us could just go with them,” Creed says.

Who do these people think they are? “Now wait just a goddamn minute—” I start to say.

“That’s perfect!” Corey says, overriding me. “Dominic! Weren’t we just talking about how you have some time off coming to you?”

“You asked me that, yes,” Dom says slowly, and I can almost appreciate the diabolical trap Corey has intricately spread out all around us. I can do nothing as I watch him tighten the noose. “Randomly. Out of the blue.”

Corey claps his hands together. “Well, then, Dominic can go with us to Tucson! We’ll be gone, what… a week at the most? Two days there, three days to hang out in Tucson, and then two days back with just Dominic and Tyson. Alone. By themselves. Surely you could ask for the time off, couldn’t you, Dominic? And, Bear, wouldn’t that make you feel so much better about the trip knowing a rather large police officer was escorting our young, impressionable, and obviously easily murdered by psycho cannibals selves through the wilds of California?”