“I helped create his cure for a looming catastrophe that would soon have ended all life on this world.”

“Good God,” demanded Fu Tichi. “You couldn’t have spread a mild sterility virus? Something that kicked in after a second healthy birth? Something like that?”

“Boring. Also too easily worked around. Besides, didn’t Dr. Leininger and I also solve death?”

“By turning our dearly departed into enemies of the living!” Coalshack almost shrieked. “Who gave you the right?”

“Who? Why most of the governments of that era,” the machine replied, now with a patronizing tone. “And religious leaders, and many others. You have no idea how desperate they were. Mass starvation loomed, along with nuclear war and ecological collapse. The solution was obvious. To restore balance and create a wholesome new nutritional pyramid, by ensuring new predators would cull the herd.”

It paused for effect, then—

“Nomorts and Lik’ems and Zooms had always occurred as rare, seemingly random events. Dr. Leininger found a way to make these after-death forms of existence part of a regular, orderly pattern.”

“Let me guess,” yowled Cuspitui. “Your creations went out of control.”

“Not at first. In fact, it came as a total surprise how sensible and tolerant everyone became! For a century or so, people got used to the notion of having some kind of post-death existence. Nomorts and Lik’ems and even Zooms defended the still-living members of their family lines. They even found ways to participate in politics, sports, community life.”

I nodded and shared a glance with Katske. We had met in a casino hallway bearing exhibits from that era.

“Standards learned to limit their birth rates and the undead curbed their appetites, accepting many substitutes…”

“So what went wrong?” I asked.

“The newly-forming social order suddenly collapsed. All of the carefully negotiated compromises fell apart amid recriminations and anger. Mobs attacked Nomort castles. Vampires preyed indiscriminately on Standards. Lik’ems fell behind on their mortgages. Zooms lost their cosmetic and dental plans. The old governments and priesthoods fell aside and I was left here, running the project. Almost forgotten, but still essential.”

“Essential?” demanded Coalshack, stepping forward. “Essential how?”

Now I could almost imagine the machine making a dismissive shrug.

“Someone must supervise the automated machinery that releases the transforming agents all over the world.”

Coalshack brandished his weapon. “You? Then this whole horror show… this Leininger’s disease… is still under your control?”

“Very loosely. I cannot steer, I merely apply fuel or remove it. Another force was responsible for the change in relations among the castes. In fact, I cannot interfere in the present situation, since the recent population reduction is exactly what my programmers…”

“Never mind that!” yelled Coalshack. “What you’re telling us is that Leininger’s Disease will stop without you! That’s all I need to know.”