“Transformer of our world, indeed,” muttered Coalshack with a bitter growl, and pointed to the center of the chamber, where there stood a much smaller cube, this one maybe ten meters or so, along each dimension. It was totally covered by flashing lights. And from its innards spoke a serene, deeply resonant and disembodied voice.

“Yes, it is I. Approach me.”

We walked forward cautiously.

“Welcome, Travelers,” said the cube, which was clearly a computer. “Relax. Put your weapons away. If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already.”

“Thank you,” said Fu Tichi. “Long have we searched for you.”

“I doubt that,” said the cube.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’ve been here for 473 years, 7 months, and 9 days,” said the cube. “How long have you been searching for me?

“Not quite that long,” said Nuts. “Have you a name?”

“I have 1,372 names in almost as many languages,” answered the cube.

“Have you one that you prefer above all others?”

“Sexpot,” it answered. And we stared for a few heartbeats. This was looking more ominous than the finder.

“Which sex are you?” asked Nuts.

The cube sighed bitterly. “They always ask.”

“Well?” she said.

“How many sexes do you think there are?” asked Sexpot.

“Two…” said Nuts. “Wait, make that four… um…”

“Don’t tell that to a Resnickian, from Resnick III,” said Sexpot. “They have fifteen.”

“I had no idea,” said Nuts.

“Well I did. In fact—” I paused in sudden realization. “Hey, wait a minute. How do you know about—”

“Forget it. Call me Computer instead.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Computer Instead,” replied Nuts.

The sudden blinking of lights all but blinded us.

“Just Computer,” growled the computer. “If all the Resnickian females were like you, I think they could get along just fine with only fourteen sexes.”

“Just a minute,” I reiterated. “How do you know about Resnickians? If you were built here four hundred and seventy three years ago by natives—”

“Now Adviser, remember we don’t use that word,” Nuts chided, then turned back to the big machine. “So what do you do all alone here?”

“Oh, I’m never really alone,” said Computer as we all looked around for its retainers or defenders. No one else was in sight, which led to my suspicion: the thing is jerking us around. Stalling for time.

“I’m connected to sensors all across the planet,” the machine continued. “Especially the casinos. I dope out the odds on elections and murderball games. I create exquisite menus for totally healthy beings, and then I create diabetic medications for them after they order from the menus.”

“Stop that!” Coalshack shouted, almost livid with impatience. “Tell us now why you were built. The reason you transformed our world.”

“Why, I thought you knew,” answered the machine, sonorously. “I was made to find a solution to our world’s overpopulation problem.”

“Then it is true. You helped Leininger to create his disease.”