He raised his eyebrows. ‘You say that every time.’

‘I know, but I mean it this time.’

‘Why?’

‘What do you mean, “why”?’ She was almost snappish. Her head hurt and she didn’t want to be questioned. The frailty of her purpose would not stand scrutiny.

‘I mean, what’s different?’ He didn’t appear ruffled, but she couldn’t read the expression in his eyes. ‘Nights like that don’t come around very often in a person’s life,’ he added, with a slight smile. ‘Not in mine, anyway.’

Connie gave an exasperated sigh. She hadn’t shared with him the problems she’d been having at home: that wouldn’t have been fair. But he must have guessed. Why else would she have been so vulnerable to his attentions? ‘It doesn’t matter why. I just absolutely can’t.’ She took a breath. ‘Not ever again.’

After a long moment he said quietly, ‘OK.’ Then shrugged, turning back to the river.

She stared at his profile. Did he understand what I just said? She tried again. ‘Devan and I were going through a bad patch …’ She found herself explaining, anyway.

Jared raised his hand. ‘I said it’s OK, Connie.’ When he turned his eyes on her, his expression was blank: there was no light in them now. She saw him swallow. ‘Your call.’

The effect on Connie of his immediate acquiescence was searing. Maybe she’d thought he would put up more of a fight. Not that it would have made any difference, of course. She groaned, tears filling her tired eyes. ‘I’m going to miss you.’ She immediately cursed herself for her weakness, but it was the truth.

Jared nodded. ‘So …’

She gazed at him. He had such a quiet face. Devan’s was so expressive by comparison, his emotions flitting boldly across his features for all to see. She had no idea what Jared was feeling. Had no idea about his life at all, which perhaps was what made it so easy for her to compartmentalize him in this bubble. Where will he go when he leaves me? Who will he be with? What will he do? She wanted to ask, but instead she said, ‘I can’t keep on lying to him. Or, more to the point, I don’t want to.’ Because it was as simple as that.

Jared seemed to be considering what she’d said. ‘We aren’t hurting him.’

‘Yes, we are. On some level.’

‘He hurt you, I think.’

‘It doesn’t matter. I love him,’ she said. What she said was true, but even she heard the equivocation in her voice. Which was not about her love for Devan, but about never seeing Jared again.