‘Come here,’ she heard Devan say, and was painfully aware of the echo of Jared’s words that night in Warsaw. It was all she could do to repress a shiver of arousal. She felt Devan’s arms pulling her against him. It was such a familiar gesture, but she couldn’t relish the closeness, or relax into his embrace as she knew she should, and normally would.

But Devan seemed to understand. He didn’t try anything more, although she could tell he was aroused as he spooned into her back when they turned on their sides. She wished he would move away. His breath on her neck was like the hot wind of shame. What am I going to do? She felt tearful, but dared not give in to tears, with Devan so close. If only he’d said all this before Poland, she thought ruefully. Although, in truth, she doubted it would have made much difference – hard though this was to admit. If Jared comes to my room next week, will I be strong enough to resist? The question kept her awake, despite her utter exhaustion, for most of the long night.

13

Connie was leaving again. Inverness and the Highlands. An easy tour, as long as it didn’t rain the entire time, or the midges pester them to death. Devan had been almost painfully attentive in the days since she’d returned from Poland. Nothing was too much trouble as far as she was concerned. Which Connie appreciated after so long a dearth, but also found oppressive. He was trying so hard. And her heart went out to him in his efforts to show his love for her. But she wished he would just relax, let them settle into a new rhythm, rather than jumping up and down like Tigger, trying to make things instantly perfect. But Devan had never been one for letting the grass grow under his feet – until his retirement, that was – and now he clearly wanted to move on, forget last year ever existed.

Connie did, too, but she knew she couldn’t throw herself wholeheartedly back into her relationship until she had finished with Jared, once and for all. She hoped he would pitch up in Inverness, then she could tell him – although she felt sick at the prospect. She was well aware that ending it wouldn’t erase him from her mind – she wasn’t stupid. Her betrayal would stay with her for ever. But at least she could begin to put their affair behind her, place it in one of the locked rooms Devan had mentioned and throw away the key.

She and Devan had finally made love for almost the first time in two years, although Connie had still found herself hesitating. But the night in question she’d known she had run out of excuses. So she’d drunk too much wine at supper, until her head was spinning, until thinking clearly – or at all – was impossible.