Chapters (42)
‘So you think it’s right we go? I’m curious, obviously, but is it OK to gawp at somewhere so ghastly? Isn’t it voyeurism?’
There was silence.
‘No, it’s an important memorial,’ Julian said. ‘We need to see just how terrible it was, so we never let it happen again.’
‘I get that,’ Tim said, ‘but fitting it in like a tourist attraction between beer and pierogi seems somehow disrespectful.’
‘Connie?’ The two men looked to her for an answer.
She thought for a moment. ‘I think it is a crucial memorial, as Julian says. We’ll be paying our respects. I’ve never been there, so I don’t know, but Mirek was telling me it’s an immensely powerful place, evocative and so heartrending … There aren’t tour guides shouting and waving umbrellas, or people taking selfies. I feel it’s right to go, personally.’
Connie let her gaze wander across the square. It was still full of people, although after eleven now. Something caught her eye: a figure, walking behind their table in the half-darkness. She twisted round, her heart hammering. But whoever it was had gone by the time she’d turned. There had been something familiar about the set of his shoulders, the way he walked … Jared? She shook herself. Christ, Connie, get a grip.
‘Everything all right?’ Julian was saying, concern in his sharp blue eyes.
‘Yes … I thought I saw someone I know.’
Julian continued to eye her. ‘You look shaken, Connie.’
‘Do I?’ She forced a smile. ‘Too much vodka, I’m seeing things.’
Both men laughed. ‘We ought to be heading back,’ Tim said reluctantly. ‘Tomorrow is going to be gruelling.’
She strolled between them on the short walk to their modern glass-fronted hotel, attempting not to think about Jared. Once in her room, the bright lights, patterned fabric and clean lines, the twenty-first-century version of G-plan furniture – all so anonymous and safe – calmed her. It was unthinkable that he would be wandering the Rynek at the exact time she was eating there. Although even the vaguest thought that he might be both disturbed and excited her – the recollection of their last encounter setting her body on fire so that she found it almost impossible to sleep.
What struck Connie as they arrived in Auschwitz was its stark enormity. Like everyone else of her generation, she’d seen countless films and photographs of the camps over the years, but they didn’t take into account the sheer scale of the place. The images, by reducing the scale, also drastically reduced the impact. The reality – with that deadly railway track running straight through the middle, like an evil truth – was overwhelming.