She was also wary of catching a glimpse of Jared’s face in the Christmas crowd. She could tell herself until she was blue in the face that he’d gone, that he was out of her life, but checking for his presence had become like a tic, a habit of which she was barely conscious. But at least she was out. No panic attacks on the doorstep today. Which was progress. If you’re watching me, she thought defiantly, then good luck to you. You’ll never get what you want.

What remained of Connie’s day had been spent curled up on the sofa, gazing blankly at the gas flames, the book she’d bought open, but unread, a plate of olives and salami merely nibbled at. It was nearing ten now. Connie had wondered all day if she should try to phone the family. But, although her finger hovered frequently over Caitlin’s number, she never made the call. She didn’t want to be the cause of tension, possibly triggering more rants from Devan that would upset their day. Or face the disappointment of another voicemail and unreturned call. She’d hoped her daughter might ring again, but it was getting late now, and she knew she would be exhausted – Bash no doubt having woken them all at five, or earlier.

She’d received a text from Tessa, a short call from Lynne, a voicemail from Jill – because she hadn’t picked up when she saw her friend’s name on the screen. Every time, the sound of her phone had made her heart soar with hope – only for it to be instantly dashed. Now, when her mobile rang, she reached for it almost laconically.

‘Mum?’ Caitlin’s voice was pitched low.

Connie, hardly able to believe it was her daughter after nearly three long weeks of praying, gasped her reply. ‘Oh, darling … hello. Hello.’

‘Listen, Dad’s next door, so I can’t talk too loudly …’ she paused ‘… but I just wanted to say hi.’ Another pause. ‘We’re all missing you dreadfully. It’s been horrible without you.’

‘God, I’m missing you too, darling. I can’t begin to tell you how much.’ Tears pricked her eyes. ‘How are you? How’s Bash?’

‘Yeah, he’s fine, we’re all surviving. It’s been weird, though. Dad’s in bits. Clingy and miserable … Angry, obviously.’ Connie heard her sigh. ‘He sort of assumes I’ll take his side, which is exhausting. I’ll be glad when it’s all over, to be honest.’

‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart. This is all my fault.’