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Chapters (31)
  1. Cover
  2. I. The Advertisement
  3. II. The Karburator
  4. III. Pantheism
  5. IV. God in the Cellar
  6. V. Bishop Linda
  7. VI. The Board-Meeting
  8. VII. Developments
  9. VIII. The Dredge
  10. IX. The Ceremony
  11. X. Saint Ellen
  12. XI. The First Blow Struck
  13. XII. Doctor Blahous
  14. XIII. The Chronicler’s Apology
  15. XIV. The Land of Plenty
  16. XV. Disaster
  17. XVI. In the Mountains
  18. XVII. The Hammer and Star
  19. XVIII. In the Night Editor’s Room
  20. XIX. The Process of Canonization
  21. XX. St. Kilda
  22. XXI. The Telegram
  23. XXII. The Old Patriot
  24. XXIII. The Augsburg Imbroglio
  25. XXIV. The Napoleon of the Mountain Brigade
  26. XXV. The So-Called Greatest War
  27. XXVI. The Battle of Hradec Kralove
  28. XXVII. A Coral Island in the Pacific
  29. XXVIII. At Seven Cottages
  30. XXIX. The Last Battle
  31. XXX. The End of Everything

Czechoslovakia was held by the Swedes, French, Turks, Russians and Chinese in succession; each of these invasions killed off the native population to the last man. In the course of those years services were held, or Mass celebrated, in the Church of St. Vitus by a pastor, a solicitor, an Imam, an Archimandrite and a bonze, none of them enjoying any permanent success. The only gratifying change was that the Stavovsky Theatre was invariably full, being used for the purposes of an army store.

When the Japanese had thrust the Chinese out of Eastern Europe in the year 1951 there arose for a brief space a new Middle Kingdom (as the Chinese call their native land), and chance willed that it should fall precisely within the frontier of the old empire of Austria-Hungary. Once again an aged ruler dwelt in Schönbrunn, the old mandarin Jaja Wir Weana, one hundred and six years old, “to whose consecrated head rejoicing nations turn their eyes with child-like love,” as the Wiener Mittags-zeitung assured its readers daily. The official language was Chinese, which at one sweep did away with all nationalistic rivalries. The State god was Buddha. The stubborn Catholics of Bohemia and Moravia moved out of the country, or became the victims of Chinese dragonades and confiscations, by which the number of national martyrs was increased to a remarkable extent. On the other hand, several prominent and prudent Czech patriots were exalted to mandarin rank by Most Gracious Decree as a reward for their enlightened adaptability. The Chinese administration inaugurated many new and progressive measures, such as the issuing of tickets in place of provisions; but the Middle Kingdom fell to pieces very early, as the supply of lead necessary for munitions ran out, and all authority thereupon collapsed. A few of those Chinese who were not killed remained in the country even in the ensuing period of peace, and for the most part occupied high Government positions.

In the meantime the Emperor Bobinet, now residing in India, at Simla, learnt that an Amazon Empire of women existed in the hitherto unexplored river-territory of the Irawaddy, Salwin, and Mekong. He set out for that region at once with his Old Guard, but never again returned. According to one version he married and settled there. According to another, Amalia, the Queen of the Amazons, cut off his head in battle and flung it into a skin filled with blood, saying, “Satia te sanguine, quern tantum sitisti.” This second verson is doubtless the milder.