“So you had,” the Bishop interrupted him sternly. “But didn’t you see that the situation had entirely changed? Jost,” cried the Bishop, rising to his feet, “our churches are empty, our flock, is running after the Absolute. Jost, you blockhead, if we wish to bring our flock back to us, we must secure the Absolute. We will set up Atomic Karburators in all our churches . . . but that, my little priest, is above your head. Bear in mind this one thing: the Absolute must work for us; He must be ours, i.e. He must be ours alone. Capiscis, mi fili?”

“Capisco,” whispered Father Jost.

“Deo gratias! Now, friend Jost, now shall Saul become Paul. You’ll write a nice little leading article in which you will make it known that the Sacred Congregation, taking cognizance of the petitions of the faithful, has admitted the Absolute into the bosom of the Church. Mr. Novotny, here is the Apostolic Letter to that effect; have it set up in large bold type on the front page of the paper. Kostal, announce among the local news items that Mr. G. H. Bondy will on Sunday next receive the sacrament of baptism at the hands of the Archbishop, and add a few words of hearty welcome, of course, you understand? And you, Jost, sit down and write. . . . Wait a minute; we want something really striking to lead off with.”

“We might say something after this style, my lord: ‘The criminal narrow-mindedness and the perverse malignity of certain bodies . . .’”

“Splendid! Then say: ‘The criminal narrow-mindedness and the perverse malignity of certain bodies have for some months past been active in endeavouring to mislead our people into the paths of error. False and heretical doctrines have been proclaimed to the effect that the Absolute is something other than the selfsame God to whom we have from the cradle raised our hands.’ . . . Have you got that? . . . ‘raised our hands in childlike faith . . . and love.’ . . . Have you got that? Continue . . .”

XIX. The Process of Canonization

CHAPTER XIX

THE PROCESS OF CANONIZATION