Back The Absolute at Large
Chapters (31)
  1. Cover
  2. I. The Advertisement
  3. II. The Karburator
  4. III. Pantheism
  5. IV. God in the Cellar
  6. V. Bishop Linda
  7. VI. The Board-Meeting
  8. VII. Developments
  9. VIII. The Dredge
  10. IX. The Ceremony
  11. X. Saint Ellen
  12. XI. The First Blow Struck
  13. XII. Doctor Blahous
  14. XIII. The Chronicler’s Apology
  15. XIV. The Land of Plenty
  16. XV. Disaster
  17. XVI. In the Mountains
  18. XVII. The Hammer and Star
  19. XVIII. In the Night Editor’s Room
  20. XIX. The Process of Canonization
  21. XX. St. Kilda
  22. XXI. The Telegram
  23. XXII. The Old Patriot
  24. XXIII. The Augsburg Imbroglio
  25. XXIV. The Napoleon of the Mountain Brigade
  26. XXV. The So-Called Greatest War
  27. XXVI. The Battle of Hradec Kralove
  28. XXVII. A Coral Island in the Pacific
  29. XXVIII. At Seven Cottages
  30. XXIX. The Last Battle
  31. XXX. The End of Everything

On the other hand, you can easily guess how the proprietor of such a tack-factory would greet this divine mass-production. He might certainly rejoice, discharge all his workmen, with whom he was in any case well-nigh worried to death, and rub his hands over the volcanic gush of tacks which it cost not a penny to produce. But on the one hand, he himself was sure to fall a victim to the psychic effects of the Absolute, and hand over the whole factory on the spot to his workmen, his brothers in God, as their common property; while on the other hand he very soon realized that those mountains of tacks were utterly valueless because he would find no market for them.

It is true that the workmen no longer had to stand at the machines and carry bars of iron, and were part-proprietors of the factory besides. But in a few days’ time it became evident that it was necessary to get rid, somehow or other, of the hundred-ton mountains of tacks which had ceased to be saleable goods. At first some attempts were made to send the tacks off in wagon-loads to imaginary addresses; later on, there was nothing for it but to cart them off to huge dumps outside the city. This removal of the tacks kept all the workmen busy for a full fourteen hours a day, but they did not grumble, being illuminated by the divine spirit of love and of mutual service.

Forgive me for spending so much time over these tacks. The Absolute was ignorant of industrial specialization. It invaded the spinning-mills with equal ardour, and there not only performed the miracle of making sand into ropes, but even spun it into thread. In the weaving and fulling mills and in the stocking factories it laid hold on the entire textile department, and reeled off without pause millions of kilometres of everything that can be cut with scissors. It took possession of the iron works, the rolling mills, the foundries, the factories for agricultural machinery, the sawmills, timber works, rubber works, sugar-mills, chemical works, fertilizer works, nitrogen and naphtha plants, printing works, paper-mills, dye works, glass works, potteries, boot and shoe factories, ribbon works, forges, mines, breweries, distilleries, creameries, flour-mills, mints, motor works, and grinding plants. It wove, spun, knitted, forged, cast, erected, sewed, planed, cut, dug, burned, printed, bleached, refined, cooked, filtered, and pressed for twenty-four to twenty-six hours a day. Harnessed to agricultural machines in the place of tractors, it ploughed, sowed, harrowed, weeded, cut, harvested and threshed. In every department it augmented the raw material and multiplied the output hundreds of times. It was inexhaustible. It simply squandered its activity. It had found a quantitative expression for its own infinitude: over-production.

The miraculous multiplication of the loaves and fishes in the desert was repeated on a colossal scale in the miraculous multiplication of tacks, boards, nitrates, pneumatic tyres, rolls of paper, and manufactured articles of every kind.