Chapters (31)
- Cover
- I. The Advertisement
- II. The Karburator
- III. Pantheism
- IV. God in the Cellar
- V. Bishop Linda
- VI. The Board-Meeting
- VII. Developments
- VIII. The Dredge
- IX. The Ceremony
- X. Saint Ellen
- XI. The First Blow Struck
- XII. Doctor Blahous
- XIII. The Chronicler’s Apology
- XIV. The Land of Plenty
- XV. Disaster
- XVI. In the Mountains
- XVII. The Hammer and Star
- XVIII. In the Night Editor’s Room
- XIX. The Process of Canonization
- XX. St. Kilda
- XXI. The Telegram
- XXII. The Old Patriot
- XXIII. The Augsburg Imbroglio
- XXIV. The Napoleon of the Mountain Brigade
- XXV. The So-Called Greatest War
- XXVI. The Battle of Hradec Kralove
- XXVII. A Coral Island in the Pacific
- XXVIII. At Seven Cottages
- XXIX. The Last Battle
- XXX. The End of Everything
To the same year belong “The Vision of Jonathan” (printed in Stockholm): “War and pestilence will lay waste nine-and-ninety countries, and nine-and-ninety kingdoms will vanish and rise again. The last battle will last nine-and-ninety hours, and will be so bloody that all the victors will be able to find room in the shade of one birch-tree.”
A German popular prophecy dating from 1923 speaks of the battle on the Birkenfeld (Birch field).
More than two hundred similar prophetic documents of the period between 1845 and 1944 have been preserved. In forty-eight of these the number “thirteen” occurs; in seventy of them the “birch-tree” appears; in fifteen merely the “tree.” It may therefore be concluded that the last battle took place in the neighbourhood of a birch-tree. Who took part in the struggle we do not know, but there were altogether only thirteen men left alive out of the various armies, and they presumably lay down after the battle in the shade of a birch-tree. That moment saw the end of the Greatest War.
It is, however, possible that the “birch” is brought in symbolically, instead of a place-name. There are one hundred and seven places in the country of the Czechs alone containing the Czech word for birch, such as Brezany, Brezovice, and Brezolupy. Then there is the German Birke and names like Birkenberg, Birkenfeld, Birkenhaid, Birkenhammer, Birkicht, Birkental, etc.; or the English Birkenhead, Birchington, Birchanger, and so on; or the French Boulainvilliers, Boulay, etc. Thus the number of towns, villages, and localities where the last battle in all probability took place is narrowed down to a few thousand (as long as we confine ourselves to Europe, which certainly has a prior claim to the Last Battle). Individual scientific research will establish where it occurred. Who won it cannot possibly be determined.
But perhaps after all—the fancy is alluring—there did stand near the scene of the last act of the world-tragedy a slender silvery birch. Perhaps a lark sang above the battle-field and a white butterfly fluttered over the heads of the combatants. And look, by this time there is hardly anyone left to kill! It is a hot October day, and one hero after another steps aside, turns his back upon the battle-field, eases himself, and lies down longing for peace in the shadow of the birch-tree. At last the whole thirteen of them are lying there, all the survivors of the Last Battle. One lays his weary head on his neighbour’s boots, another rests his on the first man’s back, undisturbed by his breathing. The last thirteen soldiers left in the world as asleep beneath a birch-tree.
Towards evening they waken, look at each other with suspicion, and reach for their weapons. And then one of them—history will never learn his name—says, “Oh, damn it, boys, let’s chuck it!”
“Right you are, mate,” says the second man with relief, laying aside his weapon.