I check my phone. January 16 had been a Tuesday. Declan was usually one to cut things short on school nights so he could prepare for school and get a good night’s sleep for the next day. Nothing short of an emergency would’ve drawn him out of the house that late.

Unless…

My skin prickles. He went with someone else. To be alone with someone else.

I drop the stub into the box as if it’s a hot flame, and text Kane: Do you think Declan was seeing someone else?

No response. No three dancing dots. I stare at the phone, willing him to answer, then dig through the box again. I find a little stuffed bear but can’t figure out why Declan would have it. Did he have a history with someone else? Did he have mementos of a whole other life I knew nothing about? I feel sick, dizzy. Suddenly, everything inside that box is suspicious, even the most innocuous items, like the Holy Bible. Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?

Oh God.

My phone buzzes with a message from Kane. I jump on it and read: Why?

I’m going to be sick. The room swims as I type. A movie ticket I found in the box his mom gave me.

I want him to say that I’m being ridiculous and paranoid, that Declan was too good to do such a thing. Instead, his next message is: Can I come over?

No. I sink down onto the couch and gather a blanket around me, hoping to ward off the chill that’s suddenly sunk into my bones. Because there is only one reason Kane would delay answering me. Why? Just tell me.

I don’t think you’ll like the answer.

I draw in a breath, my body trembling. It’s nearly impossible to get my fingers to spell out my next text, because I’m half-blind from the tears in my eyes: So he was.

I think so.

Who? But I already know the answer. Maybe I’d known it all along. Luisa, right?

Yeah.

Turns out, I was wrong. There is something worse than not knowing. And it’s knowing.