“Yep,” he mumbles. He hasn’t talked about the baby much. Maybe he feels the way I do: that his parents are trying to replace Declan.

Talk about an exercise in futility.

Kane hands me a saucer. I’m not sure if it’s his or Declan’s—they were both the same red color with the camouflage pad on the center, and both look fairly new despite the fact that Kane got more use of his. I set it down next to his and drop to kneeling as he does the same. “Ready? One. Two. Three!”

As usual, he pushes hard and ends up halfway down the hill before I even start to pick up speed. He hoots as he hits the ice and starts to glide, leaving a trail in the snow. Somehow, my saucer crosses over and ends up exactly in his wake, following him. I’m flying at a breakneck pace. Everything around me is a blur. My hair is wet and in my face, and I’m numb. Then, suddenly, the weirdest thing happens. I open my mouth and start to shriek.

But I’m not scared. For the first time in so long, my cheek muscles pull into what’s got to be a smile, because it hurts so much from lack of use. I’m exhilarated.

Being bigger, Kane coasts to a stop well before the other side of the pond. He crouches, watching me. At first, he’s far enough away that I’m not worried about crashing into him. But I’m so surprised to be happy that I lose control. And I’m nearly on top of him before I realize I’m not sure how to stop. He expects me to figure it out, maybe to put out a hand, dig my toes into the ice, or pull back on the rope like they’re reins, but I don’t. Instead, I catch his shocked expression as he manages to rip his hands out of his pockets to hold me back. I barrel into his feet, and for a second, I’m flying, weightless, before my hands and body come in contact with his wall of a chest, pushing him down flat on his back.

Then I’m on top of him. Breathless, laughing.

His astonishment at seeing me this way transforms to some other emotion, which I can’t make out through my joy. I only realize his arms are around me when I feel the pressure of his hands, pulling my face toward him. He kisses me.

And I kiss him.

Alive. Finally, I feel alive.