‘Quick, we’re leaving immediately,’ Tancredi panted, taking Cocomo by the hand.

The Professor looked startled.

‘I regret to inform you that your planet is about to enter a new phase in its history,’ Tancredi said, propelling his group towards the rocket. ‘Political correctness is about to be redefined.’

Everyone clambered on board. As the Professor tried to remonstrate with Tancredi, he spotted a Star of Lenin stuck to his shoulder.

‘What’s that?’ he asked.

Tancredi looked down and noticed it for the first time.

‘For idiocy,’ he replied.

Tamany waved Kasbek’s paw at the confused-looking Professor as Tancredi lifted the rocket into space.

XXI
Comfortably Numb

For the first time the travellers could choose their next destination. Tancredi thought he might at last avoid being humiliated, exploited or eaten. Space was full of rumours about the impending explosion of Surprise. On Correctomondo, Tancredi had seen instructions, together with a diagram, on correct form for a can-can: back straight, hands on hips, kicks to waist height. All across the Universe people were practising the dance.

With the end of humanity in sight, Cocomo agreed a deal with Tamany. Since childhood she had wanted to experience a party on the planet Comfortably Numb. Now seemed her best and only chance. She would teach Tamany to pilot the rocket; in return he would deposit them on the planet.

On approaching Comfortably Numb, the landing site was obvious to the new pilot. It was early evening; beneath them was a crowd waiting to enter an amphitheatre of Roman design with magnificent columns and vaulted arches. Its carved coral stonework was covered in ivy; torches attached to its exterior gave off a shimmering light.

Tamany set the craft to hover inches above the crowd’s head, and Cocomo and Tancredi disembarked onto a sea of raised hands. As he was deposited on the ground Tancredi breathed a sigh of relief for the first time since leaving Earth. He was in an atmosphere of relaxed euphoria, about to spend a night with the woman he loved.

Comfortably Numb occupied a unique position in the Universe. The planet consisted of a solitary tropical island surrounded by an azure sea. Party-goers from all over the Cosmos flocked to its white beaches. During the day, they would lie in the sunshine. At sunset, they congregated at beach bars to watch the kaleidoscopic light show, following which the entertainment began.

The gravitational force of the amphitheatre had a strange effect on those outside. Tancredi noticed that people sped up as they approached; the psychology on arrival was to hurry. He and Cocomo were caught in a wave of party-goers pushing through its entrance tunnel. This featured a holographic display of a flock of white swans being chased by a black swan to the accompaniment of a cascading orchestral score. Arriving inside the arena, Cocomo clapped her hands with excitement. Tancredi hadn’t imagined that such a show of pleasure from the cool-headed warrioress was possible.