Bonnita thought this explanation too long; it must be masking something. Could Cocomo actually like the hapless young stranger?

‘So speaks the whore who epitomises the short-term,’ she said. ‘Quick coupling for fast money. Must we suffer a lesson in long-term thinking from someone who does hers on her back, staring at the ceiling?’

She moved closer to Tancredi.

‘I bet I’ve spent no more time on my back than you,’ Cocomo replied, just a little too angrily, ‘and while I was examining the ceiling, you were off on a flight of fantasy about your next wedding. If you’d experienced the divorce ceremony on my moon, you might be a little less eager. In fact, you might lead an altogether less selfish life.’

By now Tancredi was confused beyond words. He couldn’t deny his feelings for Bonnita. She might be unaccomplished, but that was part of her charm. But Cocomo was right. Life needed a purpose. Wasn’t he on a quest to save humanity, the highest purpose of all?

Bonnita slipped her arm through his, glaring at Cocomo. Tancredi shuddered to the heart-stopping thrill of being touched by the most desirable women he had ever seen. The rules of the game had just been defined. It was the game of Tancredi, its prize one and the same.

XII
Tancredi Gets Divorced

Cocomo had to think quickly. Here was a man who claimed to be enlightened, falling for a flick of the hair and a tear in the eye. Bonnita’s victory would be unbearable. She must wake him up. A desperate remedy was required.

She quickly alighted on an idea that was typical of the rigour with which she approached life. In order to wake him, she must first put him to sleep. She unsheathed the stun gun which she used to deal with unruly men, and started blasting.

Tancredi woke in an underground chamber crammed with dinner jackets, all in small sizes. He rubbed his temples: he felt fine but disorientated. He guessed immediately what had happened, though couldn’t discern a motive. His query was answered by the bustling figure of Cocomo, who announced: ‘We’re getting divorced.’

She rifled through the clothing.

‘Choose a jacket, hurry up, the ceremony starts soon.’

Tancredi opened his mouth to protest but she was already at the doorway. ‘I’m off to get ready.’

Meanwhile, Bonnita, Tamany and Kasbek woke on the floor of a stadium. They were surrounded by a crowd of thousands. Tamany stretched out his little arms and yawned, a gesture copied by Kasbek.

‘What happened?’ he said. ‘Who are all these people?’

‘The witch shot us,’ Bonnita spat. ‘We’re on Cocomo’s home planet. This is the Eros Two divorce stadium. They’re going to perform a ceremony.’

Tamany was about to launch into a series of questions when a whistle sounded.

‘Attention, please,’ said a sharp voice through loud speakers. ‘Everyone link arms.’

‘Is it a game?’ Tamany asked Bonnita as she threaded her arm through his.