‘What? Oh, come on, Laura. This is you and me. We’ve worked together for ages. Surely we don’t have to go through that stuff.’

‘Actually, we do. You’ve been off for a significant period with a not insignificant health issue that, although you say it’s in the past, is not a one-off event. You also had an accident at work related to your condition—’

‘I slipped on a piece of paper.’

‘Because of symptoms related to your condition.’ Laura cocks her head in an attempt to make me understand this. ‘Alex, I have a legal obligation under the Equality Act to look at reasonable adjustments to your role that will make it easier for you to attend work regularly.’

The air raid siren is joined by mini explosions in my brain as Laura drops these bombs on me. Equality Act? Reasonable adjustments so I can attend work regularly? This all sounds so alien to me. Between the endless blazing arguments with Dom at home, my mum, sister and even Sasha mollycoddling me, and now this, I’m starting to wonder if I’m stuck in one long nightmare.

‘Sorry, Laura. I need a moment to process this.’ I rest my elbows on the table and massage my temples. ‘I wasn’t expecting this kind of conversation this morning.’

‘Take your time,’ Laura encourages me, and sits back to give me space.

After about twenty seconds of silence, which includes an inner pep talk to keep myself calm, I mirror her position.

‘OK, let’s get this out of the way. What do you want to know?’

‘Alex, this isn’t an interrogation.’ Laura laughs. ‘I’m here to support you.’

‘Well, why does it seem like one then? All I want is to get on with things and not focus on my situation.’

‘Why don’t you start by telling me how you’ve been feeling?’ she suggests.

‘OK… sure.’ I attempt a smile, but feel too exposed. ‘I’ve been feeling all right. Still a bit fatigued, but that’s reducing gradually.’

‘And how did you feel about coming back today?’

‘Good.’

Good until I got here and this conversation started.

‘I’m glad.’ Laura stirs her coffee absently. ‘Alex, it’s absolutely your right to keep your condition confidential, but it might be worth considering whether to tell your teammates. So they can offer you support and understand what’s going on next time you have a period of absence like this, which seems likely. They’ve been worried about you.’

As Laura says this, there’s an uncomfortable jolt in my abdomen and the nagging feeling from this morning returns with a vengeance. I suddenly realise what it is. It’s fear. Fear of being seen differently. Fear of being treated differently and of being seen as unreliable. Because as much as I can pretend nothing’s happening to me, it’s not like I can persuade my body to play along.

This realisation spooks me and almost derails my thoughts entirely, but as I see Laura looking back at me expectantly, I know I have to hold it together. She can’t be allowed to see this uncharacteristic sense of vulnerability that has emerged. I straighten myself up in my chair to give myself a mental boost.