“Is . . . that your goal? To be married or in a relationship?”

“I mean, I’d rather be single than be in a bad marriage or relationship. But yeah. I’m thirty-six. I’d like to meet someone. Have a partner. Have a family.”

“That’s very . . .”

“That’s very what?”

“I don’t know. It’s very something.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Oh . . . good thing.”

“What about you? You’re not looking for anything serious?”

“I’m in kind of a strange situation. It’s not really conducive to being in a relationship.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve got my dad, who I’m kind of taking care of. And then I’ve got my brother, who I’m also always kind of perpetually taking care of. So, the idea of adding a boyfriend to that, yeah, I’m at capacity for people I have to take care of.”

“When you think ‘boyfriend,’ you automatically think of someone you have to take care of?”

“I—I guess I do?”

“Good boyfriends help take care of you right back, you know.”

“Do those men actually exist?”

“Definitively, yes. They do.”

“Based on personal experience, I’m not convinced they do. Everyone I’ve ever dated either couldn’t care less if I’m around or they need me to hold their hand through every moment of their lives. There is no in between.”

“I mean, sure, men are the worst. No doubt. But not all of us are like that! And why would you date someone who couldn’t care less if you were around?”

“I was young. And, I don’t know, grateful to be involved with anybody.”

“Grateful to be involved with someone who didn’t care about you?”

“Let’s just say that I didn’t have a ton of interested parties in line when I was growing up.”

“Awkward phase?”

“Took me a long time to grow into my nose. And find my style. And just generally figure out who I was.”

“So then, once you did, you started meeting guys who were too dependent on you?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of funny. Once I realized how badass I am, guys started being really interested in me. I guess you could say that I’m . . . someone who gets shit done? It’s hard to explain. If there’s something that needs to happen, I do it. For instance, when I got home yesterday, the light in my fridge was out. So, I turned back around, went to the hardware store, bought a new one, and installed it. If it’s dinnertime, I make dinner. If it’s time to change the sheets, I change them. And somehow that has translated into me being extremely attractive to men who don’t know how to make dinner or change the sheets.”

“Or who are willing to live with a dark fridge because that’s easier than changing the light bulb.”

“Bingo.”