The silence settles between us again. There is a wisdom in it because in the face of such tragedy, suffering, and loss, there’s nothing to say. No words to bring true comfort or solace. Only presence for the journey of grief.

Taiwo and Kehinde whir above her, their orbit buzz near her ear, drawing her attention. She inclines her head toward me, and I know it’s her turn to break the silence.

“Communities can be transformed by loss. My loss comes with wrestling with Xola’s legacy, the footprint he continues to leave in our lives. Your grief, our loss, comes with decisions to be made.”

Then it dawns on me the reason for Selamault’s appearance on my doorstep. “I see. That’s why you’re really here. To check the temperature of my thoughts. To make sure I react as Ras Maulana, the R, not Maulana Buhari, bereaved brother.”

“I came because someone in my community hurts with a particular kind of pain I can speak to with an expertise few others can.” Selamault grows quiet, taking stock of her words and heart, which is her way. “And, if I’m completely honest, to seek your counsel as well as offer guidance.”

“My counsel on what?”

“Do those events not strike you as having the deliberation of calculation?”

“Oh, it has definitely occurred to me. As the R, we referred to it as a suspected decapitation strike. First the attempt on Jaha. Then Xola ‘dies’ under questionable circumstances. Now my sister, head of an elite military division on a covert operation. It’s the most frighteningly logical scenario.”

“Then I only ask you to pause long enough to ask who would provoke us so? Why antagonize the people of Muungano, if not to galvanize us to rash action?”

“There is a lot to consider and too much to do.” I lower my head under the weight of the long nights ahead of me.

“You don’t have to be the one to do it.”

“If not me, then who?”

“You are not irreplaceable. None of us are. We are part of a community. If you, as a leader, have not mentored those who can step into your place, you have failed in your duty. Have you failed?”

“No.” There are several I have groomed to replace me. Or could step into the role of Camara. Though I do not trust Bayard and Wachiru clings to naive ideas of community, Jaha would be fine. At least until Amachi has a few more years of experience under her. But my dream, my hope, had been Fela.

And my soul aches with a fresh stab of pain.