‘This pink one’s lovely,’ she says, pulling out a floaty midi dress from the rail. It’s a bit like the one I wore to lunch with Salvi at The Monastery. Not as pretty, though. Not quite as sexy.

‘Yes, it’s nice. Thank you.’ I give it a cursory glance and hang it back up with the others. I am shaking slightly. Now I’m so close, I’m stalling for time. I’m hiding out. I walked in here, almost on automatic pilot, but I need to come out of here, walk past the clinic and into the shop next door. To her. ‘Actually,’ I say, not looking at Maya, ‘I didn’t come to look at clothes today. I’ve got something I want to ask you. It’s a bit random but please bear with me.’

‘Oh?’ Maya smiles. ‘Ask away. If I can help you, I will.’

‘Do you know Ellen who works in the travel agent’s?’

‘Ellen who works at the travel agent’s … Jameson’s? Two doors down?’ I nod. ‘No, I don’t know the staff there. Why do you ask?’

I feel slightly deranged. Why am I in here, talking to Maya? Stalling for time so pathetically?

‘I don’t know. Well, I do know. Ellen’s my mum.’

What a strange sentence. Ellen’s my mum. And what a strange thing to say to Maya.

‘Right, right.’ Maya is looking at me with such puzzlement and such kindness on her face, I can’t bear it. I feel like I don’t even belong to my own body right now.

‘I need to speak to her,’ I blurt out. ‘I haven’t seen her for a really long time.’ I have a thought. ‘What time do they close?’

‘I think they close at seven on a Saturday … So, OK … Well, do you want me to come with you? To Jameson’s? I can lock up for a moment.’

I’m so tempted by Maya’s offer. To say ‘yes, please’ and let her handhold me through what I need to do. ‘No. No. Thank you. Thank you for the offer, though. It’s OK. I’m being silly. Sorry.’

‘Are you sure? Are you sure you’re OK?’

‘Yes, I’m going to go now.’ I have to go. I have to do this. I have to do this for Angela. ‘Thank you, Maya.’

‘I’m here anytime, you know, if you want to talk? I’m always here.’

‘Thank you. Thank you so much. I’d like that.’ I would like that, I think. I like Maya. I head to the door.

‘Take care, won’t you?’

‘I will, thank you. And I’m fine, I promise. I’ll see you again soon.’