She gasped, and I worried briefly that I’d gone too far. After all, we’d only made surface level conversation, the type you made on a first or second date. I wasn’t going to lie to her, though; the fact I was sexually attracted to her played a role in agreeing to Rigby’s insane plan.

When I couldn’t sleep last night, I’d done what I did best. I’d researched.Typing “polyamory” into a Google search without the smart filter was not recommended. Not that I didn’t watch a few of those clips for “research.” But it wasn’t porn that I needed. It was advice.

Nearly every blog post, magazine article, and forum thread that I’d seen all listed open communication as the most necessary ingredient in a poly relationship. I’d never entered anything without the view of succeeding, and this relationship, if it happened, wasn’t going to be any different. It was how I dominated in business, and it would be how I dominated at this.

I sucked down the rest of my soda. “I don’t know how much River has told you about our early lives, but Rigby wasn’t wrong when he said it forever altered us. I don’t even know who I would be if I’d grown up with two loving parents in middle class suburbia.” I shook my head. No point wondering what if now. “Needless to say, my childhood was rough. You should know that now. Both River and I see a therapist for the shit that happened, both before we met and in the foster care system. We’re… damaged.”

I didn’t look at Nova then, couldn’t stand the pity I knew would be in her eyes.

“Want to talk about it? I’ll show you my damage if you show me yours?”

That made me look up, and I was mildly surprised that there was no sympathy in her expression. I hated pity more than anything. I was a billionaire; I didn’t need anyone's pity.

“Maybe later.” My voice sounded rough. “When Alana went off to college in Tucson, and River got drafted by the NHL, I found myself alone for the first time in so long. I hated it. Being inside my head was not a healthy place to be. I was working in the mailroom at an investment firm in Saint Paul, and I met a woman. A sweet girl from the admin pool, who filled that gap in my life left by River and Alana moving on with theirs.”

Fuck, no one said this communication business would be so uncomfortable.