As if to prove her point, she pulled out a wheel of cheese, an entire packet of artisanal crackers, and two fancy cut-crystal wine glasses. After pouring us a drink, she pointed to the couches. I had a feeling that Julieta was a force unto herself.

“Sit down and put your feet up. You deserve it, Mama. Cheers!” She lifted her wine glass. “Now, tell me what happened today.”

I sucked in a deep breath and unloaded the whole story. As Julieta got fired up on my behalf—including a few threats about slashing the woman’s tires—I decided then and there, I wanted this woman as a friend.

“Spill! Which one of those fine men whets your whistle? Because I don’t know a whole lot about your situation, but I do know that hockey players have some sexy-ass bodies and you’re stuck in a house with two of them. Unless you’re a cyborg, a lesbian, or blind, I know you must at least be ogling one of them. Not to mention Dev with that smolder, holy shit.”

I giggled, falling to the side because staying upright seemed to be more difficult now that I was filled with a bottle of wine and the best sushi I’d ever eaten. “No, you don’t understand. I couldn’t.”

Julieta waved me away, chastising me in Spanish before switching back to English. “Girl, of course you can. You just put some pretty lingerie on that sexy body you’re rocking,” she said with a sigh. “I had a body like that once. Baby number three was a giant and just ruined all this. Clint likes it, though. Horny bastard.” She shook her head. “What was I saying? Oh yeah, you just put on lingerie and say ‘Hey, I have a need that only you can fix.’ Walk away with a lil butt wiggle and they’ll come panting behind you like hounds.”

My face was flushed, and I covered my cheeks with my cool hands. “I can’t, Julieta,” I whined. “They are so pretty, and I couldn’t choose… and what if I fucked it up? I can’t do that to Huey. No, I need to get laid somewhere outside the house.”