Julieta’s soft voice was saying something that I couldn’t quite pick up. Clint’s was easier to hear. “She doesn’t want to see you, man, and I’m not going to make her. Give her time. You can’t force this.”

I turned and fled from the kitchen, back up to the room I was sharing with Huey. The Vanmussens had been amazing, but I’d moped around enough. I had to sack up and get my life on track. I had a baby now. I couldn’t drag my feet around, feeling sorry for myself. I either committed to my decisions or I went back.

The problem was, my heart desperately wanted to be back there. Because if I’d learned anything over the last day or so, it was that my head might tell me it was too soon for the L word, but my heart had other ideas.

Pulling out my phone, I ignored all the messages from Rigby, because I knew my resolve wasn’t strong enough to hear his pleas and not fold like a paper swan. I opened up a new message to Devan.

Me: I’ll drop Huey around tomorrow. You guys can keep him for a few hours, or I can pick him up in the evening. Let me know.

It was read almost immediately. Then there was nothing. No reply. No little dots to tell me he was thinking about replying. Nothing.

I messaged a real estate agent, who promised to meet me at a crappy little apartment on the other side of town tomorrow at eleven. It was only one bedroom, but it was within my means and it would do as a start. Huey and I didn’t need a lot of space just yet. We could look at something bigger later.

Finally, an hour after I messaged Devan, his reply dinged through my phone. I opened my phone quickly, my heart in my throat.

Devan: 9. We’ll have him all day.

That was it. And I knew then, that it was over, at least with Dev. Everything we’d had was done, and I knew I should be glad about that. It was what I’d wanted.

But why did my heart feel like it was being smashed to smithereens?

I went to bed early, being polite to Julieta and Clint, who watched me with worried eyes. They told me again that I was welcome as long as I wanted, Clint joking that Huey was curing Julieta of her baby fever without them actually having to have another baby.

I laughed along with them, but the sound was brittle. Feigning tiredness, I went to bed, where I tossed and turned for hours before the sun peeked above the horizon again.