Marcus shook his head. “So you see, I give you a pain as well as a gift, old friend. If you cannot do this for me, I will understand.”

A pause of vacillation beat by, then Paul smiled. “The women in my family have been Welsh, but the men have always been sworn to the crown. Still, can I trust that you plan to keep Arundal and the others from slaughtering every Welsh man in sight while I am gone?”

“That is my intention.”

“Then I will find your merchant, and see that this is done. If I have to ride three horses to death on the way, I will do it.”

CHAPTER 23

Cold. Numbing cold. It surrounded her and seeped into her skin and blood.

It was not the absence of a hearth that caused it. Nor was her tiny chamber especially damp. They had put her at the top of the tower, not in a cellar hole.

Even so, Nesta knew cold as she never had before. It permeated to her bones as she existed in the dark, silent space. The blanket left for her could not keep it away.

Knights brought her meals. They did not speak to her, or answer her questions. She lost contact with everyone and everything, and days had no beginnings or ends. She began to comprehend what eternity might be like.

She asked to speak with the priest, to confess, but it was denied her. She wondered if Marcus had refused because the goal was to keep her from her people, or because Marcus knew just how much an ally the priest had become.

Left with her own soul for company, and her own thoughts for conversation, she could not hide from her heart. It had long ago been sliced in two, and the parts kept arguing in her head. She was helpless against it, nor would the debate ever be resolved.

She wished that she were as strong as Marcus. When it came down to a choice for him, he had not hesitated.

That was what she had wanted, wasn’t it? What she had demanded. Brief, simple pleasures that could be set aside at the moment of truth. It was not his fault that her own decision had tortured her, and would continue to do so as long as she lived.

He had warned her that no matter what happened on the fields of war, she would lose if she persisted in aiding Carwyn. He had done everything possible to protect her, except lock her away before she took the steps that would damn her.