She leaned into him, and let him support her. His arms felt so good. Closing her eyes, she let them transport her back to memories of the night before last, when he held her whole body until dawn and its journey threatened. It had been a long taste of heaven, emersed in such poignant sharing that finally, when he slept, she had gazed out at those stars that he loved and silently wept.

She wanted to weep again now.

“Where were you put?” he asked.

“In my old chamber in the stone tower. I used to share it with Genith. Now I will share it with three other women who sleep there.” She had not brought her servants, but many others had rushed to take their place. “It is a small manor.”

“Not so small, but not big enough for three barons.”

“When my father had important visitors, the men slept in his chamber. I assume that Hubert has done the same, and taken you and Addis in with him?”

She felt him nod. They were laying out the only reality that mattered right now. They would not be able to share a bed at night, even for a while.

“It is probably for the best.” It pained her to say it. She expected to feel the tightening of his hold that said he disagreed. Instead he only kissed her neck, not in passion but in a comforting manner. She realized that he understood why it was for the best, and how lying with him would only make being home that much harder, and more confusing for her.

They knew each other well. Too well. Only in the bliss of their passion could they forget how well, for a while. Or at least she could. Nothing existed for her then but a glory full of sparkling happiness.

He nestled her closer. “I do not need to make love to you, Nesta. Holding you like this, every now and then, will sustain me. But before we retire, bring me something of yours. A veil, perhaps.”

She twisted and cocked an eyebrow at him. “For when you ride out? It would be most peculiar if you carried the favor of Llygad’s daughter with you then.”

“When I ride out, it will be as the King’s man, and we both know that. The veil is for now. Do not laugh at me, but I would like to have it when I lie in bed. I would like to have something of you with me, if we cannot be together in fact.”

For a man who claimed not to know pretty words, he managed to surprise her with lovely ones sometimes. Words like this, uncalculated, and so honest and open. An anguished joy, shaded by the pain waiting for them in the next days, stabbed her heart.

He kissed her, sweetly and gently, and then turned his gaze to the fires of war sparking in the gathering dusk.

CHAPTER 20