In the middle of all this, Mollie finished school, got a job at HSBC, and abruptly announced to her parents that she’d been seeing Barnaby Remedios all this time, and had decided to accept his proposal. She was young, but so certain. Her plans were settled. Siew Li envied how sure she was in her mind. This was a path she had chosen, not something she’d fallen into, the way so many things in Siew Li’s life had come down to chance.

In February the following year, more people were detained. Operation Coldstore, like the supermarket, as if they were simply being put into freezer cabinets until they were no longer dangerous. The others told her the government was on edge—between the revolt in Brunei and Indonesia’s declaration of Konfrontasi, this merger they were planning was looking fragile—and that was a good sign, it meant they were running scared. But what about those who were taken? For a while Siew Li walked around with a cold buzz of fear churning through her, convinced every van that drove past was filled with plain-clothes police who might suddenly jump out and take her. It was weeks before she was able to sleep easily again.

Part of this was the twins. It hadn’t been so bad when it was just her, but the thought of being taken away from them was unbearable. Jason pressed her to find another job, or just stay at home. “Don’t rock the boat,” he said. “Aren’t things good the way they are?” And she’d feel his strong arms around her and breathe in his scent. The woody bass of his voice made everything sound so reasonable, and how could she argue, looking down at her babies, that all was not as it should be? But still she continued going to SATU, though she wasn’t able to write as many pamphlets or go to as many rallies as before. It didn’t matter. She wanted to be part of this thing, in however small a way.

As often as she could, she brought the children to work with her. Some of the men frowned and said this was supposed to be an office, not a nursery, but she didn’t want to make her mother take care of them every day, and anyway, weren’t men and women supposed to be equal in this new world? Chairman Mao said that women hold up half the sky. That wasn’t going to happen if they had a baby in their arms the whole time.