Just a couple of months after the births, while she was still on leave, Lina came round and said she had to come to this rally. What rally? “I’ll explain on the way. You’ll want to be there, trust me, nothing in your life will matter more than this moment.” So she left Jason in charge of the kids and hurried with Lina to Happy World stadium, where there were oceans of people (more than ten thousand, she later read) and banners everywhere saying “Merdeka”. Over the stage was a huge flag, a blue circle with a red star at its apex, and beneath that the firebrand, Lim Chin Siong, announcing that he’d left the main party to set up Barisan Sosialis, the Socialist Front. The cheering was deafening. They controlled more seats in the assembly now. The leftists didn’t need to work with the running dogs. They had strength enough on their own.

This was like the old days. If she’d ever thought having children would pull her away from all this, now she knew it was in her veins. When Lim Chin Siong spoke, he had the force and clarity of absolute truth. The government was taking them for granted, and there was no hope for a leftist future unless they took matters into their own hands. What good was it otherwise, moving from one dictatorship to another? Siew Li joined in all the chants, becoming part of something so much vaster than herself, ten thousand of them speaking as one. What on earth couldn’t they accomplish together?

“What is it for?” said Jason when she got home, breathless and flushed, and told him about it. “Doesn’t he think the government’s doing a good enough job?” Siew Li looked around their Tiong Bahru SIT flat, and had to admit its modernity was attractive, everything designed to be sleek and functional, all rounded corners and pleasing finishes. But what about people who weren’t as fortunate? She met them all the time at work, those who saw the progress around them but felt left out of it. There was still a lot to be done.

•

The Cambridge-educated lawyer who’d claimed to be fighting for them in detention was now leading the main party, and disposed to detaining people himself. For all that he’d railed against repression while in opposition, there wasn’t much indication that he believed people should have the right to choose. In 1962, they had a farce of a referendum—about how they should merge with Malaysia, with no option for becoming independent instead. Barisan told their supporters to leave their ballots blank, only to have the main party counter that blank votes counted as support. What was the point of democracy, if your only options were bad or worse? That’s why the struggle had to continue. Those in charge would never truly have her interests at heart.