I attempt to laugh, which comes out sounding more like a cat trying to cope with a hair ball of formidable dimensions. My verbal communication abilities apparently begin and end with stating the obvious. My skin crawls with discomfort until I feel like it’s separating from my body. Is this what it’ll be like when I go off to college? Every new place seeming like somewhere I don’t belong? Every social interaction impossibly awkward?

The barista turns away to pull shots with practiced ease. She’s more comfortable in her abundantly tattooed skin than I’ve ever felt my entire life. All I want is to hide, but I can’t, so I go to the only safe place I have right now. Zoe is going to get the startalk she asked for. I dismiss a message from my mom acknowledging my apology and send Zoe a text.

Me: *peers out of window of ship orbiting Earth at top speed* *regards chaotic gauge indicators with alarm*

Zoe: Everything okay?

Me: *sends high-frequency transmission reading: MOSTLY*

Zoe’s response comes right away. Uh oh. “Mostly”? What’s going on?

With a stab of guilt, I remember the look on my mom’s face when I turned to storm out the front door. It seems stupid now that I’m half an hour’s walk from home with soaked shoes.

Me: *technically should not be at Coffeehole*

Zoe: You’re at Coffeehole? Yum. Hunter and I just stopped for caramel lattes to help with the studying.

Ugh. Hunter. My stomach drops. She must be with him, which bothers me for reasons I can’t quite identify. There’s nothing wrong with that. He’s her boyfriend.

Zoe: Are you AWOL?

Me: Affirmative.

Fauxhawk hands me my mocha. The whipped cream towers to a dizzying height, and she even dusted it with cocoa powder. I slink around to a booth on the far side of the coffee shop.

I sit down and write: *feels bad for crashing your study date with Hunter*

I don’t actually feel bad, but for some reason it feels necessary to push at the edges of my discomfort over knowing she’s with him when I just want her in Starworld with me.

Zoe: Study date with Hunter: answer to the question WHAT IS AN OXYMORON? He had some creative ideas for trying to help me understand magnetism. NOT HELPFUL. Men!

I wouldn’t know the first thing about men, but I do know some things about magnetism.

Me: Tell him you’d both have to eat a bunch of magnetized rocks. *points out that only ferromagnetism is strong enough to be felt by humans*

Zoe: Clearly I have the WRONG TUTOR. Anyway, are you all right? I’m glad you reached out.

Her gladness goes off in me like a firework.

Me: *drowns sorrows in mocha*

Zoe: *wishes for another caramel latte*

Me: *designs a drone to bring you coffee* *names first prototype BOY-FRND01*