Thankfully, Friday was an improvement. Joseph invited the local Girl Guides to watch a programme after school about netball with expert advice from Mary Bulloch of the All-England Netball Association. Vera thought this was a good idea, as the girls were so well behaved and they departed before she had to start preparing the evening meal.

However, the last straw for Vera occurred on Saturday afternoon when she returned from shopping at the General Stores. The parlour was full of local tradesmen, including Fred Kershaw the coalman, and they were all smoking obnoxious cigarettes and cheering loudly. A rugby league match between Bradford Northern and Leeds was being screened and an excitable man with a distinct northern accent was commentating. Vera had never heard of Eddie Waring, the popular voice of rugby league, and had no wish to hear him again.

It was when he was shouting that it was an ‘up-an’-under’ that she made a decision.

The following week, on Monday afternoon, Joseph returned home to discover the television had gone and the arrangement of furniture was back to normal. ‘What’s happened, Vera? Where’s the television?’

Vera didn’t look up from her cross-stitch. ‘It’s gone, Joseph.’

‘Gone?’

‘Yes, back to the rental shop. They have just collected it. I thanked them for the opportunity of a trial period and said we would consider it again some time in the future.’

Joseph paced the room searching for a suitable riposte. ‘But Vera, it says in the Bible, “Give freely and become generous.”’

‘Yes, Joseph.’ There was irritation in her voice. ‘I do know Proverbs, chapter eleven, verse twenty-four.’

Not to be outdone, Joseph searched his memory bank and came up with the perfect response. ‘How about, “If you have two shirts, give one to the poor”? The same surely goes for television sets.’

Again, Vera did not look up. ‘I am also familiar with Luke, chapter three, verse eleven. Perhaps you should have read on further in St Luke’s gospel, Joseph – it’s quite illuminating.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m referring to Luke, chapter six, verse thirty.’

Joseph wracked his brains but couldn’t recall. His sister’s superiority in Bible studies had always been infuriating.

‘Go on, I give up,’ he said.

‘It says, “Give to anyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back”.’

Joseph knew when he was beaten. He looked around the room. ‘I’ll switch on the radio, shall I?’

He didn’t notice Vera’s smile of satisfaction.

Chapter Ten

Sweet Dreams