Her mother had told her that what she had done would ruin her life and that she, Florence, knew the best way forward. She recalled the bitterness that had spilled from her mother’s lips and how she had wilted before the onslaught.

Finally she fell asleep and in her dreams she saw Rudi and Tom – two good men, side by side … but a world apart.

Chapter Nineteen

Starting Over

It was a false dawn as a thin ambient light cast a ghostly shadow on Lily’s bedroom wall. She had been awake for many hours and knew she had to face the world and accept her destiny. The time of renewal had arrived. It was Friday, 24 July, the final day of the school year. There were children to teach and they relied on her. This was her life; Ragley had become her home. Her past would remain a secret.

Finally she slipped out of bed and opened her bedroom window as a sliver of sun crested the horizon and dawn raced across the land. It was another perfect morning in this beautiful part of the world. The air was warm and humid, only the slightest breeze wafting the fields of ripening barley that stretched to the horizon.

Lily heard the stairs creak as Florence crept down to the kitchen to prepare a pot of tea – a morning ritual that never changed.

She reflected on her relationship with her mother. It had altered over the years and she knew her father’s death had taken something from Florence that could never be replaced. The doctor had said he would have felt no pain, but that provided little solace. So Florence had carved out a new life with Lily and Freddie; it was the best she could hope for. Lily, meanwhile, had settled for what she considered to be the only decent solution – an outcome that meant Freddie was with her, part of a close-knit family, but never her son … never her very own.

In life there was always a price to pay.

She walked to the chair next to her dressing table and picked up her handbag. She opened it and took out the black-and-white photograph that she always kept there. Then she smiled. It was Freddie when he was a baby. For Lily it was balm to a troubled soul and provided her with comfort and strength to face another day. Last night had been like many others, her dreams filled with echoing ghosts. Looking at this photograph always gave her solace.

Perhaps one day it may be different, she thought, but not now … not now.

Lily ate her breakfast with Freddie while Florence busied herself in the kitchen. It was a special time of the day, when she watched the young boy with deep affection and talked to him about the day ahead.